I remember times when I felt free.
Where my soul held my mind and body captive. My mind free of anxious thoughts and worries. Those times when I didn’t have to tell myself to “let it go” because holding on too tight didn’t cross my mind.
The times I recall being the most free occurred when I was a little girl. The majority of those times involved being with my best friend. Sara was the true definition of a soul mate.
When we met it was instant. We latched onto each other tight. We were inseparable. It was unconditional love, laughter, and pure joy. We had more than enough best friend charms and friendship bracelets to prove we were true soul sisters. Together we were sweet little wild girls.
Oh, were we wild. Tough as nails and free as birds. We spent years together being crazy and free. We hid in dumpsters, rode our bikes fast and dangerously. Dirty and sweat covered long hair blowing in the wind. We walked city cement streets barefoot.
We ate stolen peppers and figs right out of backyard gardens. Summer mornings, we woke up before the sun, hustling lemonade and pretzels on the corner. Riding in the back of my dad’s pickup truck, giggling while the wind dried our ice cream sticky faces.
My dad would take us to the beer distributor warehouse and we would strap on our roller skates and zip through the aisles of beer case mazes in delight.
Our daily walks to the corner store—for little, brown bags full of candy—always involved us sticking our Summer-sweaty heads into the ice cream freezers to cool off. We would eat the whole bag of candy on the porch while talking about growing up and how our husbands were going to give birth to our babies because we had glamorous careers as rock stars.
We dreamed big for such tiny little girls. And we did grow up, neither of us became rock stars but we did become mothers.
Two years ago, upon hearing that Sara’s journey on earth was suddenly taken away, I felt it in my core.
Deep inside the center of my chest. Just like that my eight year old self gone forever.
All of our secrets, all of our memories were now just mine. It was unbelievably lonely. I dream of Sara often. Sometimes in my dreams we are little girls laughing, running and they are the best dreams I ever have. I wake up feeling eight years old and free.
Our souls met at the most carefree time of life. Sara was the sister I never got to have. I couldn’t have asked for a better best friend.
This is dedicated to my friend, Sara, the keeper of my secrets, my roller skating partner, every single song, my headphone sharer and my best girl. Thank you for the memories.
Author: Kelly Segaline
Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock
Photo: courtesy of the author