February 4, 2015

The Big 3 for Dating a “Force of Nature Girl.”

Sexy Woman Jumping

The modern woman is often revealed to be a complicated mix.

She has new age self-improvement philosophy, bits and pieces of a fractured sense of feminism, left over from our mothers’ generation, an undercurrent of bitterness over realizing that Disney dreams are a fraud and an ever-increasing capacity to take care of ourselves without a man—that is both empowering and crippling.

She is a “Force of Nature Girl”—means a woman who is seeking to alignment her purpose with being awake in all she does.

So, how do you date a woman like this?

Oh well, you don’t just date a “Force of Nature Girl.” No, you embrace the challenging learning curve that will allow you to ride the wave that is her raw wildness.

You must agree that you will meet her ever-changing weather pattern as it shifts and flows. If you want to get close to a “Force of Nature Girl” you had best be prepared for and value the raucous journey she offers.

You had better look alive, move thoughtfully and be internally-referenced from a deep place, as equally integrated as she has worked to be.

You must move yourself into strong alignment with who you are before you should ever, ever try to approach this woman and expect to be taken seriously.

She has no time or energy for men that show up less than her, less clear of his sense of personal direction, than she is about hers.

As if an epic journey of self-discovery wasn’t enough to have to undertake, it is highly recommended by the wise men who came before you, that you dig in and study up for this trip.

Here are the Big three—get your head and heart around these before you attempt to get close to a “Force of Nature Girl.”

1. Ditch your worry that she is doing what every girl you ever met, has been socialized to do—manipulate you into commitment.

While it’s true a woman does choose her involvement with a man, it is still the man who must define her status with him. Will he be conscious about this, or socially programmed about this? Make no mistake, a “Force of Nature Girl” will only consider a man who seeks consciousness around his role in her life and is pro-active about defining her place in his.

This can be done the outdated and diseased way, by giving her a sense of her status with you through tokens. You know, things like adopting a puppy together, sharing keys to each other’s apartments, getting a ring on her finger, going house-hunting, having a baby.

Or, you can accept the way a “Force of Nature Girl” is seeking your commitment. She is looking for a commitment to bring a depth of presence (high quality attentiveness/consciousness) to all you do, not bringing her stuff and traditional tokens of commitment.

Sharing of resources can only happen with a”Force of Nature Girl” after a commitment to presence has been established.

She desires real commitment, and a man who knows what the f*ck she means by that, instead of being triggered and frightened off—assuming she wants the traditional crap.

She has little patience for a man who keeps forgetting she is a goddamn force of nature, not a basic babe.

Commitment in relationship with a “Force of Nature Girl” may look like two text messages a week, one hour of talk and super-charged sex or it may mean throwing caution to the wind and living in together after only knowing each other two weeks, or it may mean unpacking who you are with each other over many years with no goal of buying a wedding dress in sight.

She is not willing to accept tokens as a substitute for your leadership. She can’t! Your loving leadership is required to be a guidance system for a powerful storm-front of passion to be useful and not destructive. It isn’t even so much that she requires it as the task ahead requires it, the privilege of helping her open to more of herself than she can open to on her own, without you.

This turns all the power on for a “Force of Nature Girl.” This is her reason to have a man in her world, inside her body. This is the potency this woman’s man seeks to engage.

2. Get your head around the idea that sex for her isn’t about what you think or what you read in some book that was written when the trend was to tell men to adopt “she comes first” as a religion.

This well-intentioned shift in how men showed up for women sexually ended up becoming yet another way for externally-referenced men to shut a woman down. It became a new way for men to relate to women with excessive neediness to gain her approval that seemed endorsed by the powers-that-be of the time.

This “sexual revolution” way of having sex reduced men to developing a dependency on a visual confirmation of her pleasure and needing her permission so he could get off.

Nothing is less appealing to a wild, conscious woman.

This was an improvement over just getting on and humping in a disconnected way, but not by much. This has left us with a currently accepted norm for sex that is really not that much elevated from the act than jerking off while watching porn.

“Force of Nature Girl” knows and needs more!

She requires what is next sexually!

In order to date or stay married to this girl you may need to look honestly at the fact that sex actually has something to do with pro-creation—but not in just the making baby expression of that notion. Pro (positive) creation (creative expression) is, at its core—a woman taking in a man’s tensions and converting that into something clear and useful.

She transmutes it so it is cleaned and free of the post-traumatic collection of experiences from his day.

It is just what we do as a human with a female body. Our primal nature will run whether it is honored or not, but a “Force of Nature Girl” knows how much better it is when her nature is given its due. Oh, so much better.

Our body knows and it is doing this even if both parties are unaware of it. “Force of Nature Girl” is conscious and educated about this and requires a man who knows this to some extent and is excited to learn more of this with her.

Sex, for her body, is about taking your war-filled f*cking energy, processing it and giving it back to you as life force.

She returns to you something useful from your deposit of stress. Sometimes that is in the form of an actual new human who will help you run the farm someday and sometimes it is a lifting of your burdens so your perspective can shift around an innovation that boosts your career. Her womb already knows how to bring life to a man’s purpose, on automatic pilot.

So this “Force of Nature Girl” thing is a pretty big f*cking deal, right?

She certainly knows the value of what she is bringing to him. She treats sex with a level of reverence beyond his well-intentioned, yet misguided, sexual niceness that is focused on making sure she gets off in one messily clitoral climax.

She requires more. She knows a great connection requires more and she owns it. She won’t settle for less. Tell me, why would this girl be with a man who doesn’t know or want to know these things?

3. You had better find a way to feel free in a way that isn’t dependent on her for your inspiration and motivation.

“Force of Nature Girl” is truly liberated and uninhibited. She intends to stay that way and seeks to open even more. She loves to be a muse for a man who shows up already open and capable of receiving what she desires to unleash.

She will not choose a shut-down, inhibited man unless she is taking him on as a personal project as a donation to him and the world, or to coach him for hire.

It drains her to be around closed people, especially inhibited men. She will do her best to avoid men that are not well on their way on a sincere quest to be free men themselves. She will seek out and help along a man interested in creating a lifestyle that ever-expands his capacity to help women stay wild and free. He is clear—this is a gift men uniquely bring to the world.

She can tell which men are seeking real openness and which men are play-acting to get laid. She can feel into which men are super-closed and will need more help than she can offer to get up to her level of openness.

She has her female superpower of being intuitive dialed up and has no fear about calling out bullshit. She doesn’t need a man to survive, so why in the world would she be motivated to hang with shut-down men and put up with bullshit? Show up real with a “Force of Nature Girl” or show up ready to grow exponentially fast, or get the fuck away from her.


I hope this has freaked you the f*ck out and scared the shit out of you; not to dissuade you from pursuing a wild “Force of Nature Girl” (God knows there are not enough men able and willing to as it is), but to encourage you to expand yourself so you can have as many options in the company you keep with women, as you desire.

Relephant read:

For the Free-Spirited Females with Fiercely Sensitive Hearts.

Author: Michelle Terrell 

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photos: flickr

Read 14 Comments and Reply

Read 14 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Michelle Terrell