Why I’m Terrified of Porn.

Via Suzanne Williams
on Feb 19, 2015
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This is a message to all the men in my life.

All the beautiful men who I know strive for equality and who would never oppress a woman knowingly. This is a message for you because there is something you need to know.

Pornography terrifies me.

And it’s a deep terror—like someone has stabbed me in the gut; like a giant planet is about to collide with the Earth.*

The strange thing is that I didn’t even realize that I felt this terror, until I started speaking to other women and realized that the terror they spoke about was in me, too. “But why am I terrified when it’s just a normal part of society?” I hear you ask.

That is what terrifies me.

Porn is so normal that my male friends can easily talk about it in front of me, (I know what the ‘wank angle’ is). Porn is so normal that you can find it in sweet shops. Porn is so normal that even the musicians that my six-year-old goddaughter likes are doing pornographic moves in bikinis.

Porn is so normal that for a long time I believed that if I wanted to please a man in bed, I needed to act like a porn star.

But where did this come from? How was I convinced that pornography should be an everyday, normal thing?

When I dredge up my internal ‘knowledge of the world’ I’m told that pornography is the result of the sexual liberation movement and is an indication that we are free to explore our sexual lives. But when did four guys wanking into a woman’s mouth become sexual liberation? What part of us is liberated by it? And is it a part of us that we really want to liberate?

What about the young girls and boys who grow up into this world where both of them are subjected to twisted ideas of what it means to have a sexual relationship with someone?

I can tell you what it does to little girls: it terrifies them. But then we numb and accept, because what else can you do at such a young age when you’re faced with a cultural norm that is designed to humiliate and degrade women. The Stockholm syndrome takes over our sexual lives, and we go and practice our porn face in the mirror.

The feeling I have now, as a grown woman, is one of rage. But to whom can I direct it? Pornography in most forms is a symptom of an oppressive, patriarchal culture that affects both women and men. Porn humiliates women and desensitizes men. It’s not solely men nor women’s fault that porn exists, but when we find ourselves watching degrading acts towards women and men being shown as insensitive abusers, then it’s our responsibility to stop watching.**

I don’t mean that we should censor all erotic acts in the media. However, we need to start listening to women when they say they are terrified of porn. Any objectification of women is violence against them and porn seems to be one of the most violent of all.

I’ve known a sensitive lover or two in my time, so I know that intelligent men can bypass the misogyny they are presented within pornography. But we still need to ask ourselves the question: do we want little girls to grow up in a world where they know that watching the degradation and humiliation of women is seen as a pleasant way to pass time?

*Watch the film Melancholia if you want to know what this feels like.

**(If you’re not sure, ask a woman to watch it with you.  If you don’t want a woman to watch it with you then you’ve probably got your answer.)

 

Relephant Read:

Pornography. Masturbation. The Spiritual Story No One Wants to Tell.

 

Author: Suzanne Williams

Apprentice Editor: Rebecca Lynch / Editor: Renee Picard 

Photo: Yannig Van de Wouwer/Flickr 


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About Suzanne Williams

Suzanne Williams is a woman in transition. After leaving the cold shores of the British Isles behind her she is now on a life long learning mission to find a more sustainable way of living. Currently she is studying Integral Permaculture on the beautiful Canarian Island of La Palma. Here she hopes to reconnect with her roots, literally and figuratively and find out what it really means to share this planet with all our co-inhabitants. You can find out more about the eco-village project she is working on here.

Comments

28 Responses to “Why I’m Terrified of Porn.”

  1. ABP says:

    This is exactly how I feel as well. Thank you.

  2. Suzanne Williams says:

    It's been pointed out to me that I could make a distinction from industrial pornography and erotica… here was the comment:
    [you might want to add] that pornography (as opposed to, say, much erotica) is industrial; it persists and reaches so widely because there is a huge amount of money to be made in its consumption and by association (e.g. music videos, advertising, couture etc.)

  3. Suzanne Williams says:

    Thank you for your support ABP

  4. Mel says:

    I am sorry but i feel you got some severe issues. Deep terror? Of porn? I am a woman and I love watching porn and I liked it since i was a teenager. No i am not brainwashed I consider myself intelligent enough I just don’t see how someone can be threatened by porn. And I like some kinds of sex that is shown in porn, some other things I just use for fantasy- thats all that is- I like mastrubating to porn occasionaly and unless it’s an addiction i don’t see how it’s bad. hot and I think I have a healthy view of sex and a know PLENTY of women who love porn too. And porn doesnt terrify young girls I dont rememeber EVER being terrified of sex or porn, I showed this to some of my female friends, they laughed ….I am terrified that some women find things like porn so threathening , just don’t ruin it for some of us who love it .

  5. Mel says:

    and I most of the porn is not violent…You seem awfully judgmental. If I like rough sex and someone as you put it “wankin in my mouth” it’s something wrong with me? Come on. It is youwithunhealthy view of sex if you see acts in porn as humiliating for women. It’s your fear and perception.

  6. Suzanne Williams says:

    Thank you for your comment Mel. I've been told there are women who like porn and i'm glad to hear that point of view. The women that i've spoken to, and many men, have all agreed with me so I haven't had a chance to speak to anyone who enjoys it. For me pornography, as a general idea, is frightening because in most cases it objectifies women and gives a false idea of what sex could be like – i.e. intimate and sacred. As a teenager I didn't have the chance to talk about it with anyone so when I discovered what porn was i though 'oh my god is this what i'm meant to do???' and was, as you may be able to understand, terrified. In this case I would have to disagree with you, it does terrify girls, i agree not all, but it terrified me and the last time i checked i was a girl. If I was alone with the perception I might agree that that it was me with the unhealthy view of sex, however there are thousands, and perhaps millions, of women who agree with my view (i.e. most feminists). I hope that i'm not ruining anything for you, my aim was to add my voice to a conversation that needs to be had about the porn industry. Thank you again for adding your voice as well.

  7. Suzanne Williams says:

    p.s You're choices in the bedroom are your own and I ensure you that I make no judgement on you as a person. As I said to another person on this subject, i have no problem with a quick f**k in a telephone box. However, I do judge an industry that makes millions of pounds from promoting 'rough sex' to young people who haven't had the time to discover their own sexuality. (the average age a boy seeks porn is 11).
    All the best
    Suzanne

  8. Mel says:

    Porn is not such as bad influence on young people like a society that fears and demonizes sex. Sex is natural and it's not wrong if it's not with a long term intimate partner. It's also not wrong if it's not rough sex like in porn…it's not black and white but there is nothing to be scared of…There are things far worse for eyes of children/ young adults. And it's the parents job to teach them about healthy sexuality and relationship. I know plenty of women are like you but there are also plenty of people who think sex out of wedlock is wrong… The point is porn shows sex between two CONSENSUAL ADULTS…if you perceive acts in it like forced into women let me asure you again, i know many women who like it, also there is PLENTY of porn out there with more sensual gentle acts so it's for different tastes because we all enjoyj sex in different ways. It's not completely realistic but neither are romance movies. A parents job is to teach kids not5 to take everything literally…well actually nobody ever specifically taught me that but I still know. I grew up in enviroment very open to sex( and porn )and I have always had sexually and emotionally healthy relationships.

    from http://www.psychologytoday.com
    Porn can affect people, but it does not take them over or override their values. If someone watches porn showing something they find distasteful, it has no impact on their behavior or desires. But, if someone watches porn depicting acts that they, the watcher, are neutral about, then it does make it slightly more likely that they express interest in trying that act themselves. Take anal sex for instance. If a porn viewer finds it disgusting, watching anal pornography isn't going to change that. But, if they are neutral on it, then watching anal porn probably will slightly increase the chance that I would be willing to at least give it a try. But, there is the crux of the issue—the people who gravitate towards unhealthy, violent porn, are people who already have a disposition towards violence. So—the problem is not in the porn, but in those people. Regulating porn access really is going to have no impact on these people as they can (and do) find far more violent and graphic images in mainstream Hollywood films like "Saw."

  9. Mel says:

    "
    Pornography is the visual enactment of a sexual fantasy. That's fantasy — to be distinguished from reality. That's fantasy — to be distinguished from an intention, wish or even attitude. A fantasy occurs in the imagination. The imagination is creative, capable of all sorts of tricks and distortions
    anti-porn advocates like Jensen who watch a porno, note its sordid and dehumanizing story line, and then assume that the man masturbating to it must really hate women and secretly want to dominate and devalue them. The shock value of the story line (to the extent there is one) is intended to carry the weight of an argument that is basically superficial. After all, if some guy gets off on watching 10 men ejaculate on a woman's face — while she begs for more — he must be either a misogynist watching his wishes come true or one in the making.

    Except that he's not. I've treated dozens of guys who might get aroused by such scenarios who don't hate women at all. They have decent and loving relationships with women. And most important, they are able to distinguish between a fantasy and reality, something that Jensen seems both unwilling and unable to do.

    What turns them on in porn scenarios depends crucially on the fact that the woman is depicted as excited. If she were depicted as primarily hurt and humiliated, these men would instantly lose their interest and erections. If there is one nearly universal common denominator in heterosexual porn it is that the women in it are generally portrayed as easily, constantly and powerfully sexually aroused, driven wild by whatever men want to do with and to them. For most men, this fact is crucial to their arousal, not because they're looking for a rationalization for their violent impulses but because they are guilty about feeling strong, selfish and masculine; feel overly responsible for and worried about women; and secretly believe that women are unhappy and relentlessly dissatisfied with men and their own lives. In the service of masturbation, these portrayals of "women in heat" momentarily reassure men against their fears, relieve their burdens and offer them a freedom they find lacking in relationships with real women. The sexual fantasies expressed in pornography, as well as those of their own private invention, are arousing to men not because women are being hurt but because they're not.

    Lots of porn features strong women — picture the dominatrix — and the male viewer gets aroused for precisely this reason. But many other types of porn address these same issues but in a different way. For example, often the woman is portrayed as dominated, hurt or even degraded, but in the porno she's excited and eager. Men are doing these bad-looking things, but the women are enjoying them. Our psyches are amazing things, really. They interpret the depiction of a woman's arousal as signifying her health and happiness! And thus you find in almost all porn that women appear aroused. Their arousal subliminally says to the male viewer, "I'm not hurt … I'm even happy!" In fact, were these male viewers confronted with a woman's real pain and fear, they would immediately extinguish their excitement. In other words, they know the difference between fantasy and reality. They don't primarily want to hurt woman. What they really want is to be strong, selfish or masculine in ways that excite women, not degrade them. Porn provides them with imaginary scenarios in which this wish is safely gratified."

  10. Stella says:

    I had difficulty adding a response to Suzy’s original article here, so I created a new page in the Integral Permaculture Designers Manual on Pornograpy with my response,

    here http://en.permaculturescience.org/english-pages/1

  11. Celty says:

    Mel I don't think you actually know what porn is actually like and stop bullshitting that it's fantasy. Porn happens to real women and real women suffer because of it 88% of the most popular porn shows psysically agression against women by men. women also catch various diseases and end up with rape trauma that often leads to ptsd. It is incredibly violent and abusive it's just that you don't see because you've been desensitised to it. Men using their penises as battering rams on women's orifices is violence. Men slapping choking spitting on, punching women in porn is violence. Before you even try to deny it-I'm referring to mainstream porn this is the porn many men watch and is freely available. This shit is all over the internet you can't hide it, it's so obvious.

    And yes porn has a misogynist influence on society and lowers women's status and the rape conviction rates. If you watch porn as a women it is an act of self hatred. Porn is about degrading women. I hate break it to you but you are supporting rape, abuse, sexualised violence and misogyny every time you click. I keep hearing that there are women who like porn but they are few and far in between most of the women who watch porn do it to impress men or because their boyfriends/husbands are grooming them to re enact porn (which is a huge problem when it comes to domestic violence). Just because you like it doesn't mean it's not misogynist or abusive.

  12. april says:

    this is fantastic! thank you.

  13. april says:

    suzanne, porn terrifies me as well. It does nothing to liberate women, and everything to uphold the patriarchy and capitalist structure that eats away the souls of women and men alike. Thank you for your courage and mindfulness. Peace.

  14. Daci says:

    Celty I brlieve you are the one who doesnt know what porn is. My partner and I will happily watch porn to help arouse us before sex. He has over a terabyte of porn and none of it has punching, slapping, choking or spitting in it. If that’s all the porn you’ve ever experienced you’re looking in the wrong places on the wrong forums at the wrong sex shops. There is a “violent porn” market, there is an “erotica” market, an “anal” market, a “foot fetish” market, a “facial” market, a “menage a trois” market, a “curvy” or “voluptous” market, a “big is beautiful” porn market and many other “fetish” markets. There’s no way all porn is violent porn. I won’t judge you for being afraid of porn, l won’t judge you for liking porn, but you have no right calling all women who enjoy watching porn as women full of “self hatred” nor do you have any right generalising either the industry or the people who enjoy the industry like you do. You dont know my story, you dont know Mel’s story and we don’t know your story, but you should know better then to accuse people you don’t know of being full of “self hatred” because they were open enough to let you know they enjoy something like porn, something that you obviously know sweet F A about.

  15. Jo says:

    Porn terrifies me too. It harms the women and the men who make it, the men who watch it and even women who choose not to watch it but whose partners watch it. I have been in relationships with porn addicts, and it takes a huge toll. Always wondering if they are imagining the images of women being abused while they are with you. Sometimes they will choose porn over actual sex because it is easier, or because actual sex with someone they love no longer arouses them.
    As far as I am concerned, the saturation of porn in our culture is driving a wedge between men and women, and this will be to the detriment of everyone. A generation of boys raised on porn will go on to have dysfunctional relationships and view women as less than human. Sex will become inextricably linked with violence in the collective psyche. Meanwhile women will be told over and over that it is harmless, that it is empowering, that if they watch it or participate in it they are cool and ’empowered’, that if they are against it they are ‘joyless prudes’. Sex as an expression of love will become a thing of the past and the world will be worse off for it. If we value honest and equal human interaction, the majority of today’s mainstream porn must be exposed for the toxic expression of violence and hatred that most of it is.
    I have seen erotica that is sexy and not violent and where women are treated as people and their pleasure is important. There is nothing wrong with this kind of sexual expression on film. But a large amount of what men want to watch is extreme, violent and degrading.

  16. Huong says:

    I'm only sixteen and this article reverberates with me deeply. The most frightening aspect of pornography is the fact that there are boys and men out there who sexually coerce their female partners into performing sex acts widespread in porn she does not enjoy.

    Academic researchers and professors can debate on and on about the long term effects of pornography and such but people who deny the fact that pornography contributes to men's sexual expectations and entitlement are simply being dishonest.

    Honestly, if porn consisted of sexual acts that men don't enjoy generally (e.g. eating a woman out on her period and having sex with a woman who is menstruating) and these acts were shown 50% of the time while the rest of the time involves brutal sexual intercourse where the women chokes the man in most of the scenes and ejaculates purposely on the man's face at the end of every video, I would say the public reaction to pornography would be entirely different. And nobody would remark that "Lesbians have sex like this too so it's entirely normal" or "The men in the videos enjoyed these acts".

    People who support pornography should look up the organization called "Fight the New Drug". It is geared at young people like me, but it has educational value for everyone and a lot of statistical facts on pornography's harms. Fight the New Drug's archives include data on how aggressiveness (against women) is commonplace in porn.

    Also, I apologize to any parents reading this, but you can't effectively stop your kids from watching sexually explicit stuff because nobody is willing to take drastic actions to restrict it even though it is EVERYWHERE on the Internet. You can thank your porn supporters for that. Mel's statement that "Porn is not such as bad influence on young people like a society that fears and demonizes sex" says all you need to know about society's attitude towards porn. Her statement is comical because we are not living in the Victorian age where it is considered scandalous for a woman to show her ankles. We are living in an age where it is perfectly acceptable for boys to read magazines with scantily clad women in it and where sex displayed in movies and TVs and books is rampant. We are living in a society where women are increasingly becoming sexualized by the media (look at music videos for proof). Contrary to Mel's belief, I would argue that talking about the harmful effects of pornography and implementing policies restricting it isn't going to turn us into a society that demonizes sex. People like Mel are going to keep sweeping porn's toxicity under the carpet.

    To the people who see nothing wrong with the porn industry, I hope you keep in mind that your orgasms stemming from watching porn do not override its harmful effects on society. I don't care how fantastic porn is for you or how much you love the fantasy. If people are talking about the negative experiences they faced because of pornography and you respond with "I am terrified that some women find things like porn so threathening , just don't ruin it for some of us who love it" (my interpretation: Nothing should be done about pornography due to your experience being invalid because my experience about reading about your experience frightens me *fap fap fap*) you need to buy a book about learning some empathy. "Porn doesnt terrify young girls"? As an actual young girl unlike Mel, I say YES it does.

    For anyone who participates or plans to engage in breath control play (aka choking someone or being choked) during sex, read this essay first: http://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_Breath_Medical

    (Thank you so much Suzanne Williams for this article. I recently just stumbled across it.)

  17. Suzanne Williams says:

    Dear Huong,

    Thank you for adding your comments. It's really interesting to hear the view of a younger person. First of all thank you for pointing out the need for empathy when someone is expressing their point of view. I would say that 80% of women so far have agreed with the point of view expressed here so it should be taken into consideration.

    I agree that it's sad that some men coerce their female partners into performing sexual acts they'd rather not. There are plenty of men who don't do this – and of course I expect you'd run a mile from anyone who did this. But unfortunately there are many young women who aren't as savvy and educated as you and do believe that pornographic moves are expected even if they don't feel comfortable doing them. This is why it's so important to discuss these issues with your friends so that it's at least acknowledge that there is a choice.

    Recognising ourselves as subjects, instead of an objects – which society seems to implicitly encourage women to do – is the main task of women today. There is porn out there that does treat women as subjective people and I think this is ok on a social level (i suppose people can still get addicted to it however?). I experience subjective living as looking out through my own eyes instead of looking at myself through other peoples eyes. For me, who did the latter for many years, it was extremely liberating. It's unfortunate that people like me have to reach their 30's before this happens. Thats why we need to all be talking about it as much as possible!

    Thank you for posting the link and for pointing out Fight The New Drug.

    All the best
    Suzanne

  18. Soup says:

    Thank you for writing this, and to all the participants. Increasingly research is showing that pornography has a desensitizing effect on watchers. They increasingly want to view riskier images that are more hard core than the last thing. The alternet article cited is a little old at this point. Also, as another commenter pointed out, women and men in the porn industry usually suffer abuse at some point. It is prostitution in front of a camera. Imagine putting yourself in a really vulnerable position, with people who have few scruples and dollars to be made. They start off empowered like Belle Knox, but even she cites being injured and hurt on camera because she couldn’t get away. Overseas, it’s a human trafficking industry. They don’t get paid. There is such a thing as “feminist” porn. But that’s not what you find, or my 14 year old son finds, when you punch in porn on google. I definitely feel like it is causing a rift between women and men. I have certainly witnessed men saying they would rather jerk off to porn than deal with the challenges of real human intimacy. I feel like single men want a real human interaction to be as easy as googling up some porn. I worry about my child. I certainly don’t feel like I have any right to unrestricted viewing of the opposite gender, naked and vulnerable to abuse so I can masturbate. These are hard things to express out loud and I am happy the more I see it. I used to love internet porn when it was new. I’m no prude. But I think internet pornography is a cultural cancer eating away at humanity’s ability to love.

  19. Cheryl says:

    Thank you for this excellent piece. It is a very tough thing to be a parent these days. Mel's comment that it's the parent's job to teach about healthy sexuality and teach kids not to take things "literally" makes me wonder if she has children. I have a daughter who is 18, and it has not been easy raising her in this culture, where violent sex is normalized in popular music (Rhianna's S&M, and more), and you can't look anywhere without seeing impossible beauty standards. If you think these factors do not negatively affect children and teens, you're just wrong. My experience bears it out, as does recent research on the subject – and frankly, common sense. Bottom line: I want my child to associate sex with love and tenderness, not violence, degradation and self-loathing. Porn does nothing to promote sex as a deep, spiritual, loving experience. I'm all for free love, but that's not what porn is about.

  20. Anonymous for this says:

    Porn ruined my marriage. We had had a good sex life until my husband (who up till then had led a sheltered life) started watching porn. He tried to make me do the degrading acts he watched and consequently felt entitled to, and when I wouldn’t comply, used force. Any desire I had for him died when he turned sex into a power struggle. Eventually he became physically abusive to the point where he almost succeeded in killing me, and we divorced.

    I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life than with a man who watches porn. Pro-pornies who claim it’s just fantasy are kidding themselves. We are what we consume.

  21. M.K. Hajdin (Exiled Star) says:

    Suzanne Williams, it is impossible to make porn that doesn't objectify and degrade women. The answer to the problem is not "woman-friendly porn" or "feminist porn". The solution is to dismantle the male supremacist society that relegates women to a subhuman sex class.

  22. Suzanne Williams says:

    Thank you the everyone for joining in with the conversation. There are a couple of things that have been pointed out to me that I need to address. In the article I say that ALL girls are terrified of porn. This, of course is not true, only some (maybe most) are. From the comments I've received so far about this about 80% have been in agreement with my view. The question is – why aren't the majority being listen to? It seems to me to be a clear example of how we still live in a society where women are not given equal value. Of the 20% who haven't felt negative feelings around porn, and who have been women, most have had the common denominator was having a 'sex positive' household where things like pornography were discussed openly. I can imagine this would be helpful to de-mystify pornography for young girl. Unfortunately I wasn't brought up in a household like this. This is why we need to de-mystify it culturally by sharing our own experiences and untangling the complexes of this issue. I wonder if the reason why we don't do this is because deep down we know there is something fundamentally un-human about porn?

    A few people have pointed out that non-degrading, non-objectifying pornography exists (such as lovenotporn.com), however it still brings up the question whether turning sex into a consumable product is acceptable at all?

    Thank you to everyone who has commented and joined in with the conversation so far. And thank you to DGR for sharing this article on their page. My aim was to add my voice to the conversation of the objectification of women and it's been great to see so many other people getting involved.

  23. Arturo says:

    I am terrified of porn, too. I am terrified of it as a trend that is obsessing the society. And it is not only porn that terrifies me, but the attitude towards the relationships. My intuition says that there is a huge difference between "sex" and "love-making". Sex is there where no love is, and sex can lead people into an addictive spiral of ways and techniques to get satisfied, which includes porn as well.
    In my opinion there are strong parallels with the realm of addictions. I can suggest to read this blog post "The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think": http://www.huffingtonpost.com/johann-hari/the-rea
    So, for me it is important to look over the trends, to envision the solution. And according to the blog post, it might involve building a new social and physical environment… Perhaps even changing the society in some ways. It just seems that there are patters in the modern society that actually encourages addictions.

  24. Ben B. says:

    Hmmm. I'm glad we are having this discussion as a male viewer of porn since I was 13. Thank you for the post Suzanne and all of you guys and ladies make interesting points.

  25. rlmcr says:

    After a long hiatus from porn watching that ended some time around the early 80's, I can say for a fact that what is posted online today is way more violent and degrading than old 8mm movies, magazines and early videos that I traded back and forth with friends in my younger days.

    Not that they were shining examples of virtue and female empowerment, but the fetish videos featuring bondage, whipping, spanking etc. were not allowed to show actual sex….so were of little interest to guys who didn't have those kinks are were looking for sex movies and videos.

    I never saw one movie about anal sex, yet today it seems more common than conventional intercourse! Besides the trends towards increasing levels of violence and degradation of women, one of the objections of new porn is how it is impacting real life as teenage boys are increasingly trying to force or coerce their girlfriends into going along with anal.

    An article at the Australian: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/bo
    I came across linked at Deep Green Resistance noted that:
    "women are suffering from faecal incontinence as a result of anal sex and that they’re “uncomfortable” with the assumption that it’s become “the norm”.

    The problem isn't that anal sex cannot be done safely( though it's something I've never tried personally), it's that the boys are watching porn where anal is featured in every video and the men are using force and deliberately inflicting pain…with models expected to moan in orgasm to pretend that they enjoy it anyway! The real story from what I've heard about the porn world is that most of the actresses require reparative surgeries from doing these anal scenes for too long.

    Should I be surprised if pornography is becoming increasingly extreme, violent, depraved, exploitatitve etc.? I like to step back and take a overall look at how different issues intersect together, and it seems to me that every other aspect of modern capitalism is becoming more ruthless and avaricious, so why should I be surprised if the same trend exists in the production and consumption of pornography?

  26. Mel says:

    sex is a natural act but it does not have to be deep and spiritual. Why does sex need to be spiritual for you not to be afraid of it? I have children, thank you, and luckily they wont grow up terrified of something as natural as sex.

  27. Mel says:

    For every female sex slave video you have an equivalent male sex slave video. A blanket statement like 'porn is misogynistic' doesn't mean anything. What about gay porn, or porn involving cartoons, or porn where the woman treats the man as a slave?

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