So often I hear things such as “Don’t judge me because of my past,” “I am no longer the person I used to be” and “Do not define me by the person I used to be, but for the person I am now.”

I admit I have also said these things myself.

It seems as though when we have been through hardships, made mistakes and bad decisions we tend to want to hide our past. We want our past hidden in the shadows where it cannot be seen. We want to keep our closets locked tight, so that no one can see our skeletons. We don’t want to be judged by the past mistakes we’ve made.

We want to be seen for the person we’ve grown to be.

The thing is, the person we’ve grown to be is created, molded and sculpted by our past mistakes. We learn. We grow. And yes, we change. But where does this beautiful change come from? It is the past that has helped create the amazing people we are today.

Instead of denying our past, we should celebrate it! Instead of pushing our mistakes into the shadows, we should shine a light on them. Instead of locking our skeletons up tight, we should let them out and thank them.

After all, they are what has helped us to grow.

It is this thought that drove me to write a letter to my past self. I wanted to thank her for all that she endured, the mistakes she made, the bad decisions she chose and all that she went through. That past person is who helped me become the strong woman I am today.

A letter to my past self:

I want to thank you for all the harsh words that you‘ve endured;
I now know when to close my ears and walk away.
I want to thank you all the abuse you’ve suffered;
I now know how I should be treated.
I want to thank you for all the mistakes you’ve made:
They have guided me into making better decisions today.
I want to thank you for the drugs you’ve taken;
I now know undoubtedly that I want to live a clean life.
I want to thank you for holding on to love despite it not being returned;
I now know when to let go and walk away.
I want to thank you for the beatings you tolerated;
My body no longer see bruises.
I want to thank you for the heart ache you’ve received;
I now know how to truly appreciate the good people in my like.
I want to thank you for the times you’ve doubted God;
I now know it was him that helped me through the toughest of situations.
I want to thank you for the depression you’ve suffered;
I now know how to separate what is real and what’s just in my head.
I want to thank you for so much;
Because you’ve created the person I am today.

With love,

Your present self

 

 

 

Relephant: 

 

A Love Letter to my 5 year old Self.

Author: Jessica Norsworthy

Editor: Renée Picard 

Image: martinak15 at Flickr