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March 26, 2015

Ghost Parade. {Poem}

woman vintage postcard 1910 public domain

 

We were dancing on the sweet earth

I was brave and strong

determined to be fully present

though I saw the cracks

felt the chinks in your armor

I dove deep

beneath the rough facade

dove for pearls in the muddy water

certain I would find them,

if I could just hold my breath

a little longer

If I could just hold on

while the hurricane whipped

parting the waters in a tidal wave

of hope, grief, betrayal, and despair

my dreams now dashed,

while you stood mute

cold and resolute

behind a coward’s shield you cowered

while I protested the abandonment

stripped down to a desperate child

gone the strong resilient woman

who used to play your game

once laughing and tender

trusting, without guile,

now dragged under

my jewels pried loose

for your greedy plunder

washed into the jagged rocks

undefended

while you extract a pound of flesh

now I see the truth, absolute

it was a fool’s errand, loving you

I gasp for light in the wreckage

sifting through silt and garbage

my treasure still flickering,

there’s nothing that rips and frays

quite like a heart

I sought your safe haven,

my private mirage

your promises of strength

pledge to truth, so noble

All dissipated in the rubble

of your personal descent

The more I gave

the harder you fought to prove

that my loving you was a waste,

I begged you to stand fast

protect our bond

believing we were precious

while you set your lure

and sought another,

darted and jabbed

pointed out my unworthiness

You found the wounds

loosed the barbs

despised me for being flesh and blood

You sprinkled salt and held the salve

proving I was human,

you could bleed me

proving that you didn’t need me

I was yesterday’s news

Just another woman you

Tempted, wooed, used,

I sought to crawl back into the comfort

drink again of the warm elixir

now turned to poison

parched and bitter

You tore me down and walked away

sold yourself to the highest bidder

she offered gold,

she offered glitter

you fed her lies,

and fabricated

bobbed and weaved

in  a web of deceit

devalued me so you could leave

I was torn, nearly broken.

just clinging to shreds

of dreams that used to whisper

used to comfort

beneath the silvery glow

now I join the ghost parade

of those who weren’t enough

while you trudge proud and jubilant

across fields of bones and flesh.

 

 

 

Relephant: 

 The Ghost. {Poem}

 

 

 

Author: Christi Chaffee

Editor: Renée Picard

Image: via the author, Public Domain 

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