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March 23, 2015

Love Letters from a Parallel World: To my Healer.

crying sad emotional

Read the first Love Letter, here

 

Dear Healer,

Greetings to the softest insides and the mushiest heart I have ever been acquainted with; a heart that radiates light and affection.

This is a gratitude gift of travelling energy, it lacks any ownership; feel free to pass it on to those who inspire the same feelings. It is only a modest trial that’s never enough to thank you for the mesmerizing journey; the short-lived rich and most meaningful times when your presence was a living proof of faith. I believe God has his ways of patting shoulders and protecting us from being lost, his way with me was you; a solid existence of his being & for that I will be forever humbled. 

In the realms of logic, you might be only a messenger, a guide, a mentor or even a good friend but in a parallel world of wild fantasies or you might as well it call it a little bit of infancy, my inner infant would like to let its imagination loose and believe the face of God to be yours, for it doesn’t come kinder than this.

You were magically able to wake up all the pain inside of me bit by bit then slowly and softly put it back to sleep with a warm blanket & a bed time story of your thoughts acting as the most delicate lullaby to my entire heart ache. 

Thank you for sewing back my clipped wings and enabling me to fly again, thank you for the fix and thank you for the lightness. Thank you for keeping the promise of unconditional acceptance and for building some fine self-infrastructure inside of me; you have become attached to everything valuable in me and every good deed that ever comes to my mind. Thank you for the most beautiful heart-shaped footprints you left all over my identity, I followed and rarely fell. Thank you for the safety net that held me whenever those rare falls visited.

Thank you for the sweetest escape from a harsh, fake world. Thank you for being my mirror, one that has the power to reflect every virtue and flaw in me without glorifying or demeaning my inner-self. Thank you for inspiring forgiveness, for granting me the permission to forgive myself above all and for sharing your own take on forgiveness.

Thank you for taking me back to how it all started, for embracing simplicity and clearing my messy mind. Thank you for giving me the chance to look at things from a different thorough angle. Because of you, every experience I have is richer, more joyful and comes in its very first form just like initial creation; very humbling. Every little thing is meditative and worth appreciation. I can take one look at the authentic nature of the universe and feel so secure and content like I am still in my mother’s womb not having a single concern in the world. Thank you for redefining my sense of security and for providing me with a primitive emotional sanctuary just around the corner.

Thank you for the tasteful hugs and your generous hands that felt soft and soothing in times of great despair; I thank you for such an artistic doing.

Knowing you was and will always be my reviving breath and letting you go is like taking the last hurtful breath of detachment; sort of a sweet death. Between both breaths there was a short yet beautiful life, there was my journey and it was more than enough. It is a blessing, something to celebrate not mourn.

It is a kind remedy to my heart to let you go, as a giving person its killing me holding back generous doings to the person who has given me the most and I dare not give recklessly since it’s not my shoes to fill, you have your story, your life and your role to play, I have my role too and it’s not a friend or a sister or even a daughter in your life, it’s a client, a patient, how ironic it is that I am a patient that aches of patience.

It hurts me that you’re my paid friend, it’s an ache that the only genuine relationship I have is one for I which I have to pay for, not an emotional barter deal rather than an emotion-for-money kind of deal, how mad it is that the only mind that understands me and the only soul I can call a mate is one that’s bought not acquired, an effort not a right.

You were as light as a feather in my heart yet a vintage one, its value is in the years it has lived and in the amount of hearts it has touched. I feel privileged to be one of the latest hearts witnessing the age, the beauty of the scars and all the wisdom this feather has reached.

You believed relationships are braided and that little things mattered overtime. So I thank you from the deep bottom of my heart for the most meaningful braid of my life for as long as it lasted.

I believe you’ve given me the best of what you do best, so in return I can only do the same; I am giving you the best of what I do as well. All I have are words and feelings and that’s the most cherished gift I can ever offer, I hope it heals when you need it to.

I wish you keep scattering your kindness all around like confetti for everyone to get a taste of what I had. I wish you all the love and serenity there is in this world. 

I will be forever grateful and indebted for your existence in this lifetime, maybe we can meet again in another parallel world.

Thank you for everything….

Yours Sincerely,

Your Patient 

 

Author: Nadine Badrawy

Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: Petras Gagilas/Flickr 

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