March 31, 2015

Men: 3 Tips for Becoming Sexually Empowered. {Adult}

lovers in bed

My life has been transformed by practicing non-ejaculation during sex and masturbation.

Infinitely for the better.

When they hear about this, many men wonder something like “Why the hell would I want to do that? What’s in it for me?”

I’ll tell you what’s in it for you: Merely everything that you crave within sex and relationship.

Unlock Your Inner Sex Warrior

What does it mean to be a warrior? There’s a quote by Chogyam Trungpa that I really love: “The essence of warriorship, or the essence of human bravery, is refusing to give up on anyone or anything.”

So when I use the word “warrior,” I mean it in the most loving way. It means that I’ve cultivated and continue to cultivate a deep commitment to myself and my happiness. In doing so I continue to expect the same from those around me. I began to hold them capable of their greatest levels of joy, connection, and fulfillment.

Especially in bed.

I hold you capable of your greatest levels of rock solid confidence, deep connection, and earth shattering sexual experience.

I hold you fully capable of owning your Inner Sex Warrior.

I’m clear what’s possible. The only unknown variable is you. It’s whether or not you’re up for the challenge.

1. Experience Profound Connection in Sex and Relationship

Something incredible and beautiful happens after one, two or three hours of making love, having sex, fucking, or whatever you’d like to call it.

We all carry our walls and guards within ourselves. Men sometimes think that we’ve got it all handled and that we’re doing just fine as is, but that’s a wall in and of itself. Our walls are what keep us from having constantly joyful, sex-filled, fulfilling, creative, expansive, and inspiring relationships. (If there is no part of you that wants these things you can stop reading right now. You’ll get nothing of value from this article.)

When someone tries to penetrate these walls the walls only steel themselves further in protection of impending attack. They become even more fortified.

But during extended love-making, the opposite happens. We lose our ability to keep those walls built up so high. We lose the ability to try to get our partner to lower their guard too. The walls simply melt away of their own accord as pleasure and relaxation floods our bodies.

This is a connection unlike any other. It’s deep, cosmic, powerful, body shaking, and 100 percent totally possible for any man who commits to these practices.

If you’ve been waiting for the other person to make the first move, to lower their walls and open up to you, you’ve simply been waiting for them to be your mommy.

Stop it.

It’s time for you to make the first move and get rock solid as the man that you are. It’s time for you to begin providing a safe space for your partner to open up to you. The practice of advanced sexual stamina may be exactly the key to doing this.

And she will open up so much more than just her legs to you. If she is a quality woman who’s par for the challenge she will open up her heart, soul, hopes, dreams, and entire being. She will deeply respect you for the dependable, trustworthy man that you have become.

2. Release Your Sexual Shame and Became a Deeply Confident Man

All of us carry sexual shame. Every single man.

What becomes possible in a safe space where a committed group of men share openly and honestly about their biggest dreams and deepest desires, as well as let their deepest fears and insecurities?

We experience freedom.

Shame is rocket fuel for the disempowering and painful patterns that keep us from the sex life and relationships we truly crave. When we let our shame see the light of day and share it within a safe, supportive group container it simply dissipates.

The hole that it leaves behind can then be filled with something new: A powerful sense of self. Confidence. A penetrating and profoundly loving masculine presence. A man who is not scared to ask for exactly what he wants (in any area of his life), and who’s self value doesn’t depend on how the other person responds.

He ceases to become needy and creepy.

He knows that he is deeply deserving of love and that he brings unequaled value as a lover and partner. He knows in his bones that if he doesn’t get his needs met here he has infinite other opportunities to do so.

3. Gain Control Over Your (Sex) Life

For much of my life I was largely at the mercy of my body and emotions.

One of the most painful parts of my life has been how deeply disconnected I’ve felt when it came to relationships and sex. My body was closed down in some very deep ways. I went through multiple, very painful experiences of not being able to get an erection when a gorgeous woman was right in front of me literally asking me to fuck her.

And each successive time it happened the pain and helplessness I felt continued to pile on.

For years I wondered if what I was experiencing was what I had to settle for. I didn’t see any way out.

Was any more than this possible?

I now know that the answer is yes. What I currently am experiencing was—even just six months ago— inconceivable to me.

Those that are ready for an experience of sex and relationship beyond anything they’ve ever dreamed will rise up to the challenge of exploring the new horizon they’ve caught a glimpse of.

They will experience hours-long sex sessions.

They will experience what it is like to hold  another in advanced states of ecstasy and pleasure.

They will experience powerful full body orgasms.

Every man holds the keys to these advanced states of giving and receiving pleasure. But just like a seed requires the right conditions to grow into a powerful tree, each man requires the right conditions to own his inner Sex Warrior.

It takes the right support system, the right guidance, the right feedback, and the desire to experience what is possible.

The brave men can truly commit to this path, and it’s these few that will be able to look back half a year from now and see that the man they’ve become was inconceivable to the man they were back then.

I have done my best to describe the states of pleasure and connection that are possible through the practices of advanced sexual stamina, yet these words are nothing more than crumbs when a feast is waiting just in the next room.

Notice that if you’re settling for crumbs, then that’s what you’re feeding your partner every time you show up in the bedroom…and where else does that show up in your life?

These are much more than acquired skills. They’re new ways of being, and they’re available to the man who is fully ready to step up in every area of his life.

One of the best ways to fully commit is by entering into a supportive, rock solid group environment where similar-minded men will accompany and support you on your journey to becoming the best lover, partner, and man you can be. It’s why I decided to create the exact course I wanted to take and asked mentor Christopher Sunyata, a man who is 15 years deep into these practices, to lead it.

Let me know any questions you have in the comments below and I’ll make sure to give you my best answer or point you in the most helpful direction I’m able. As with all the work I do with men and women, my commitment is to you and your path. It’s to you and your sense of aliveness, passion in your relationships, and purpose in your life.





10 Sex Techniques to Evolve Your Lovemaking. {Adult}


Author: Bob Schwenkler

Editor: Renee Picard 

Image: malomalverde at Flickr 



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