It was your kisses I dreamed of, every single night
it was your skin I longed to touch and trace constellations on,
connecting the dots in your flaws and scars.
It was your face that I thought about
whenever I tried to conjure a mental image of my insides.
I would often wonder if your voice still breaks that same funny way,
if your eyes still crinkle at the sides whenever you smile,
if you still kept your hair curly and long,
if your laugh still sounds the same.
I would imagine myself seeing you again after so many months
and my heart sinks,
my soul sighs,
my world momentarily stops,
pinching a few minutes into what seems like forever.
I would always catch myself thinking about
the things that have always kept me tied to you
and from which I may never escape
no, not ever.
I think about these things,
and ask myself if you still think about me
the way that I still think about you.
Do you still remember my laugh?
does my face invade your thoughts while you’re at your most vulnerable, the same way you do to me?
do you still think about that last time you held me,
the last time you saw me smile?
do you think of all the things that might have been?
or am I now just a mute force at the back of your head?
And that is how I know
that I am still in love with you.
Author: Julianne Marie Leybag
Editor: Travis May
Image: Peg Syverson/Flickr
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