Do you long to create ritual with your kids, as a family?

Does it feel so complicated and that you never can get it together or there never seems to be enough time?

I assure you there is. It’s about keeping it simple. With a desire and non-attachment, you can create ritual for you and your kids that makes memories and magic.

Back in the day, we lived on top of that hill in a 1920’s place with black and white tile in the kitchen and a backyard overlooking Hollywood. We’d get up early, do yoga with the smell of jasmine around us, walk slowly down the street for Cuban cafe and fresh squeezed carrot juice daily, run our numerous businesses plus spend our nights infused with urban beats and fine cocktails.

We had all the time in the world. We worked and played and traveled and took the time for slowly planned meals, daily practices, and monthly rituals.

I took on a partner who pulled down the moon with me and set fire to papers and hung tiny pieces of fabric from trees. I drew a good card in karma’s ridiculous game as far as he goes. He was on board with the magic.

Then I got luckier. Blessed would be the word. A goddamn full blown, wild country road-of-a-miracle. Holy shit: we made a person.

And together we vowed to bring her love and create space for growth and give her the tools to discover her unique and sacred magic.

Then one day there were three! Three humans! And three felt like a lot. And life became what life is: Busy. Fast. Crazy.

Quick glimpses of the moon and we would blow kisses to her and say a fast blessings before bed. But that was all I could ever muster up. Months would pass, and in my mind I’d create altars with fresh flowers and rows of candles and crystals in violets and magentas. I’d dream of when they were old enough to complete the circle we began together, back in those days.

But I realized that sometimes ritual is enough to butter the toast, keep a smile on your face and a song at your lips when kids are screaming at murder-worthy volumes.

Sometimes it’s just enough to go for a walk every night after dinner under an ombre sky and exhale after a long day of rough and tough or breath in huge the gifts of an easy ride on glassy waters.

Sometimes it’s just enough to feel the oil drip-drop in the warm bath and hear the tiny song sung before they finally (not without the long, long struggle) fall asleep in peace.

I knew they wouldn’t be so little for too long. And someday we’d get more into ritual.

Now that the girls are growing, they are finding their boldness and they ready to take part in ritual—real ritual. They are 11, nine and seven years old. And their favorite time of the month is when mama “gets it together” enough to set aside space for a simple ceremony to honor the full moon.

I keep it simple. It’s a practice, a story we are weaving together, but I make it very accessible. The golden rule is to not feel “behind” or “feel like you are doing it wrong” or try too hard for them to “get it.” There are no rules. There is just you and your intention.

Ask yourself what works for you and do just that, maybe even less. See what works for them and roll with it, let them lead.

Bring in friends. Or your partner. There are no rules here. It’s the moon, for goddess’ sake. It’s as crazy and mysterious as we are.

Here are some ways we create a simple moon ritual as a family:

1. We lay out the tapestry in front of Durga, a hindu goddess of protection and we get out candles and I let the girls engrave marking in them with a pen tip—whatever they want; stars, hearts, moons. And I tell them to wish as they do it.

2. When the candles are decorated we light them and place them around our statue (you can use anything you want, even photos of the family or pretty stone, whatever you have that brings you all joy to see) and then we get up and have a little dance party, because it’s the full moon, and we should be partying, of course.

3. Once they get their wiggles out, we sit on the tapestry and I take out a rubber stamp with a sacred symbol on it (you can use stickers or washable marker or even just your finger!). I stamp each of their foreheads and announce, “You are anointed with….,” and for each girl (and their dad) I say something different, such as: joy, love, health, happiness…and my oldest daughter stamps me (they had fun telling the kid in school the next day why they had stamps on their heads!).

4. Then I get out some string and wind it around our wrists, connecting us together, like a web, and then each one of us speaks of something we want to let go of in our lives, our fears, whatever (it’s always beautiful to hear what kids have to say). As they speak, I cut them free and throw the string in the fire (you can always just throw it in the trash if you don’t have a fireplace).

5. Next, I get out a ball jar filled with water. We pass it around shaking it up and down, infusing it with what we want to bring into our lives next. The jar is then placed right in the moonlight and the next morning we gulp it down, drinking our wishes and manifestations, blessed by the moon.

6. Finally, holding hands, we sing many, many, many OMs and give lots of silly and sincere thanks. We blow out the candles.

And then we throw on some James Brown or whatever music that makes us happy, make some delicious hot cocoa, and we dance some more.

Then we call it a night.

Simple. They sleep like a charm.

Next morning I always get: “Mama, nights like last night are the best in the world.”

Ritual doesn’t have to be serious or complex or feel like “it’s not for you.” Ritual brings us together and reminds us of the power of intention.

Things to use for your simple, family friendly moon ritual:

candles

string

scissors

a stamp, marker, sticker {something to “anoint”}. My stamp was an ancient symbol I had made for my wedding invitations years ago and has deep meaning, but you can make this simple and easy for yourself, as always it’s about intention.

jar of water

music

hot cocoa

 

May your family be blessed this coming full moon and may simple rituals become part of your life—to create memories, share the magic of the divine, and teach the children natural rhythms of this world.

 

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Relephant Read:

Why Sensitive Souls Need Rituals. ~ Kathryn Nulf

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Author: MaryBeth Bonifiglio

Editor: Renee Jahnke/Emily Bartran 

Image: Chrismatos/Flickr