I think we are conditioned to say, “I can’t,” even when that’s not what we mean.

How many times have I said the words, “I can’t do this,” or “I can’t do it—” to a man, an opportunity, a challenge?

It’s never quite true.

In fact, I can do it. I am capable, strong and resilient. I certainly “can.”

What I should say is, “I won’t.”

I won’t do that.

I won’t go.

I won’t stay.

I won’t tell you.

I won’t listen.

I won’t continue.

I won’t stop.

It’s up to me, and I have decided I will not.

“Can’t” is a disability. “Won’t” is a choice.

I want to own my choices, with pride and transparency. I don’t want to hide behind “can’t” and give away my agency to forces beyond my control.

“No” is equally powerful as “yes.” When I say, “I won’t,” I claim that power.

Of course, “can’t” has its place, but I am seeing what happens when I substitute “won’t” sometimes.

“I won’t” feels bold and decisive and entirely mine. I like the taste of its smooth finality.

No space for second guesses or doubt of my authority.

I won’t—no explanation required.

I won’t—yes, I’m sure.

Maybe I can, but I won’t.

 

 

Relephant Read:

Forget About Being “Likable.” {Inspiring Video}

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Author: Toby Israel

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: Flickr