Most of us freak out upon hearing the word “alone.”
We are either scared to be alone or consider people who are alone mentally unwell.
As human beings, aloneness frightens us because we either fear boredom, or we fear facing our minds and the reality of ourselves. The bulk of us even fear struggling with the feeling of loneliness.
However, when we are surrounded by people, we are safe, certain and sort of dependent.
Whether we are alone in a new country, at home, at the movies or anywhere else, aloneness is pivotal and has its own fruits to bear.
Below are five rewards for learning how to spend time alone, even if for a short while:
1. We become decisive.
Usually, we don’t mind planning things with other people. Not that we don’t know how to make decisions, but compromise is inevitable when plans involve more than one person.
This compromise in return indirectly shuts down our own desires. With time, when we are always surrounded by people, we are prone to becoming indecisive.
On the other hand, when we do stuff alone, we learn how to start minding. In other words, we become decisive.
Being alone allows us to better comprehend our likes and dislikes, desires and apathies.
2. We learn who we are.
Rewinding back to the beginning of our journey on earth, we’ve been surrounded by people since day one.
Our personality is a mixture of the personalities we’ve met throughout the years; we subconsciously collect others’ personalities to create our own.
This is quite normal as we continue to learn more about ourselves, thanks to the people we meet along the way.
However, in between, assessing what we’ve become or must become is crucial, and it can only be accomplished when we spend time with ourselves.
3. We face our mind.
Facing the mind terrifies some people. And we can only face our mind when we’re alone.
Facing our mind is the process of actually listening to the voice that’s always running in our head without being troubled or disturbed.
I know some people who can’t meditate because they’re frightened by this voice. They don’t know the means of dealing with it or understanding it.
Constantly being with people means to successfully turn down the volume of this voice. But we aren’t always able to be with others. Someday, we might have to be alone.
Practicing spending time alone means practicing taming our mind and knowing what is going on inside of it. Then when we’re alone, we won’t be as concerned as we thought we’d be.
4. We find out how to be in relationships.
I can’t stress enough the importance of learning how to be alone before learning to be with others.
Some of us settle into relationships that aren’t right just for the sake of not being alone, and this is problematic.
Some of us have lost the right partners because we always craved being alone during our relationships, and this mainly happens when we didn’t get enough “alone time.”
When we haven’t learned to be by ourselves, we also face the problem of attachment and dependency. We unconsciously attach ourselves to our partners and crave their presence, so we don’t end up alone. This, in return, creates tension and pressure on our partners and will eventually push them away.
Learning how to be alone teaches us how to be with others. We will create a beautiful space in our relationships that will comfort ourselves and our partners once we know how to deal with solitude.
5. We deal with our problems without bothering others.
Talking about our problems and seeking advice from others is crucial to letting negative energy out of our systems. Sometimes we even find solutions by getting inspired by another person’s experience while talking about ours.
But before doing so, in order to have a good understanding of our problems, it is essential to be by ourselves.
Moreover, the intensity of our anger and melancholy is notable at the beginning of every complication. Hence, we should try to learn how to decrease it before running to others for advice.
Suffering is a disease that can easily be transmitted from one person to another. As a result, we should be careful about transferring this energy to others.
Learning to spend some time alone basically enlightens us about how to deal with our problems before talking them out.
Aloneness should never freak us out. If we can’t be alone for days or weeks, we should at least dedicate a few hours per day to practicing solitude.
Ultimately, we are the person we know best, but we never take the chance to unravel this personage.
Once this personage is revealed, we stop making relationships, friendships and projects just to escape loneliness. All will then be created out of love and conviction.
We should never avoid aloneness. Let’s experience it and embrace it, and our lives will be transformed.
Author: Elyane Youssef
Editor: Evan Yerburgh