August 19, 2015

When It’s Over: Reflecting on Heartbreak.


It’s sad when something that had so much potential for beauty ends in an ugly way.

How could someone you invested so much of yourself into begin to view you in such a terrible, distorted way?

How did moments and conversations that were once peaceful, enjoyable and exciting become filled with such angry, hurtful and damaging words?

How could someone you believed in and supported unconditionally be so cruel to you? How did it transition from being you two alongside each other against the world to you two being against each other instead?

How did it break?

How could someone you’ve given so much love to come to resent you? How? Why?

Sometimes it’s so difficult to understand the journey we’re on but, even when the path is a little foggy, we have to trust it. Trust that clarity will come. Trust that the people in our lives at any given time are exactly who are meant to be there.

Trust that sometimes certain relationships have to end before the people who are meant to be a part of the next step of your journey can be brought in. In order to let the right things in, the things you need now, you have to let go of the wrong things.

Even when it breaks your heart to do so. Even when it physically hurts. Even when it feels like you’re losing a part of yourself.

Some people are able to grow together, others just grow apart. No one is right or wrong, it’s not anybody’s fault, there is no good guy or bad guy…simply two people who grew in different directions and must now take separate paths.

While it might be incredibly sad, it must have been necessary otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. Perhaps the paths will reconnect somewhere down the line under different, more favorable circumstances when you’re both a little less broken.

Perhaps they never will, maybe you’ve already exhausted any purpose you had for each other. Either way, at least for now, it’s over. The “could have”, “should have”, “would haves” are futile, you’ll drive yourself crazy dwelling on them.

Accept the way things ended up, even if you’d hoped for a better ending (or no ending at all).

But never regret. Because the experience served us, in some way.

All things do, even the painful ones. Feel the pain to let it go. Don’t hold onto it. Don’t hold a grudge. Understand that it needed to happen the way it did, that there was a lesson to be learned. Feel the bad, the hurt, the anger, the confusion.

Learn from it, then release it.

We can’t allow it to make us jaded or cynical, the world has enough of that already.

Never stop loving.



Relephant Read:

Finding Truth in Heartbreak. 


Author: Kristi Shaw

Editor: Renee Jahnke

Images: Woodly Wonderworks-Flickr & Mitya Ku-Flickr 


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Kristi Shaw