That teeny-tiny pause
When a cool, fresh inhale becomes
A warm exhale.
The magic moment
When a heartbeat flips over
And turns into another heartbeat.
That’s where freedom exists.
In the ecstatic emptiness of the in-between,
In the grand canyon of frothy, lace-like subtlety.
I fill pristine silence with loud, fake laughter,
I sprinkle anxious, meaningless chatter into the folds of awkward pauses.
Maybe I’m scared.
That the quiet
Which drips with succulent, layered truths
Will swallow me whole and threaten my stubborn beliefs.
I run around and rush
And go, go, go,
I try to be loud enough
And busy enough
So I won’t have to face myself.
But silence follows me everywhere.
My unwanted gossamer companion,
A see-through silver scarf flowing behind my back.
I can’t run anymore.
So I sit,
Awkward and alone
Breathless and anxious; uncomfortable and scared.
I stay quiet for the eternity etched in a moment.
I take a breath, a pause, an epic taste of stillness.
Goosebumps cover my flesh
As the sweet hum of nothing-ness
Feeds my soul gently.
I sit with my own throbbing imperfectness,
Humbled, stripped down and raw.
My heart aches, wonderfully.
A more intentional life.
A life laced with the unwavering intention to be here.
What does that mean?
How can we cultivate
The steady, trickling determination
To find out
What that really means?
I don’t know.
But something tells me
It starts here,
With this epic inhale
And this slow, exquisite
Author’s note: This piece was inspired by Ashleigh Hitchcock’s beautiful post “A Simple Practice to Stop from Interrupting.” I highly recommend reading it! Her words brought me home to myself.
Author: Sarah Harvey
Editor: Catherine Monkman