I was told, at a very young age, that I would not be able to have children of my own.
They said my chances would diminish with every passing year after age 20, and I believed this story.
I spent most of my teenage years creating a plan—rushing through school, jobs, relationships and life—just to increase my chances at aligning with motherhood, before any possibility I might have slipped away.
I wanted a house full of children—I came into this world knowing this was my purpose.
I got married at 18, and immediately we tried to get pregnant. I did conceive twice before I had my son, but I miscarried. My first son was born when I was 20, and his brother was born when I was 22.
They have been true miracles in my life.
At the age of 30, on my exact birthday, I adopted my first daughter from Romania. Then the following year, a little boy and two older girls arrived from the same country. Those four have been even greater surprises from the heart. I am a blessed woman.
As the years have passed, and they’ve grown into adulthood, I have provided a list of suggestions for them—for those moments whenever they get stuck in their own lives.
I have learned these lessons the hard way sometimes—by mistake or just in some magical way.
Life has no written instructions or manual, but I have compiled these to express to my children that there is joy and mysticism in their paths:
1. Don’t let anyone step on your thoughts, dreams or passion.
2. Creativity is sign language from the Divine. Read great books, write your heart out, be moved by films, be touched by music, and create from a place that’s raw and awesome.
3. Love is eternal—always keep an open heart. When the heart breaks it is a wonderful opportunity to expand as it is healing.
4. Laugh as often as you can. Laugh at everything—humor heals the mind, body and spirit.
5. Wear a tutu, mix-matched socks and color your world. Hold your pants with a shoelace. There are no rules.
6. Be in nature, and feel the presence of Mother Earth always grounding you.
7. You are never alone. You might not see or feel another’s presence, but you are always being loved and guided.
8. You are the creator of your destiny. Align your thoughts with the universe—you are your own genie.
9. Every day is another chance to get it right. Don’t beat yourself up. This shall pass. Give it time. Try and try again.
10. Kindness is the key, and compassion is the lock to healing the treasures of humanity.
11. You need to remember why you are here. Find joy and it will open the memory bank of your purpose for this life.
12. You must honor yourself, first and foremost.
13. Life lasts a second. Enjoy the journey—it passes quickly. Have no regrets.
14. Do nothing. Do anything. But don’t complain. Suffering is a choice. You are never a victim. You are a survivor.
15. Travel—even if just to the next town. Explore your surroundings. Let the outside world be your teacher.
16. Anger is a great source of fire, but if not contained, it will burn you. Let it go. Nothing is worth that negativity.
17. Forgiveness is not for anyone but yourself.
18. Eat with passion, drink wine—and do whatever you want in moderation.
19. Don’t blend-in through life. Stand out as you are. You are the best version of you there will ever be.
20. Sleep! Sleep as much as you want. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for wanting and needing rest.
21. F*ck is a wonderful word. F*ck whatever anyone thinks of it. Sometimes it is the only word that can be expressed.
22. Everyone sh*ts. And everyone’s sh*t stinks. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. No one is better than you.
23. You are beautiful. No amount of makeup, surgeries or anything can change the light in you. Fill the vastness of emptiness with love for yourself.
24. It’s great to have people in your life, but ultimately you are responsible for yourself alone.
25. Whenever you have kids, remember they aren’t under your ownership. Let them learn to find their own way.
26. Making love is very different than having sex. Respect your body. Don’t let anyone kill your self-worth.
27. Vulnerability is strength. Allow yourself to fall, and ask for help. We are in this together. You don’t have to carry the world on your shoulders. Some days you are the teacher and other days the student.
28. Money is not the root of all evil. It is a great source of energy to use and help to others. The more you believe in its magical powers of giving, the more you will receive.
29. Fear and control are child-like monsters occupying the darkest part of your psyche. They are not real.
30. Live life with all that is meant to be—pure joy, love and light.
31. God is always in you. You are the oneness of all. The world will try and tell you otherwise, but you know better. Wake up to the truth. Don’t let the years pass by with uncertainty. You know what you know because you are divinity.
32. I will love you no matter what happens. Even if I didn’t know you I would still know that you and I are connected through breath.
33. Meditate, pray and just be with yourself. It is there that you will find yourself.
34. Judgment is based on insecurities and ignorance. You can never understand another unless you are inside of their soul. This serves no one. Be kind to those you see every day. Notice the drama of life and all its falsehood.
35. A compliment to anyone is the best gift you can give them, along with a smile.
36. Stay present. Don’t let your ego travel to places it will never really visit.
37. You are a creation of a million cells generating mystical thoughts, powers and emotions. Embrace your uniqueness and honor yourself.
A few months after compiling this list, at the age of 46, I was given another gift—a four-month-old baby girl. Therefore, I must add lesson #38.
Never make definite plans or say “never,” because you may get a huge surprise. My fiance and I are now in the process of adopting my granddaughter. And although it has been an unexpected change of plan, I cannot imagine a life sweeter than that of being a mother.
Life is magical and the lessons continue.
Author: Millie Mestril
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina