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October 6, 2015

Why the Wrong Person can be the Right Choice.

Andreas Schalk/Flickr

“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~ Unknown

I’ve come to believe that there is no such thing as the wrong person.

I have spent so much time wanting to engage and experience in the soulmate or twin flame type of relationship that I missed out on just how important the wrong person can be in my life.

Because the wrong person can actually be very right.

When we think of someone as being all wrong for us—it actually means that they don’t fit into whatever image our ego has decided who we are supposed to be with.

They don’t fit the life that we believe we are supposed to live.

But honestly—when the hell did any of that really matter?

Because the truth of it is, the universe doesn’t really care about who we want in our lives—it cares about who we need in our lives.

Sometimes what turns out to be precisely what we need is also exactly what we thought we didn’t want.

When we let go of the idea of the wrong person, we invite possibility into our lives.

Often times, the wrong person comes into our life to teach us lessons that we wouldn’t have learned any other way.

Because it is incredible how good wrong can feel.

Wrong can tantalize and excite our senses—it can challenge us to step out of our comfort zone, so much so, that we never end up returning.

Often times, the right person tends to be a mirror image of ourselves—someone who we feel at ease with, because we understand them.

Because like sometimes can attract like.

But, I’ve come to learn that relationships with the “right” person can often end up feeling more wrong than anything else.

Just because our ego has guided us toward someone who we feel is a good match for us, doesn’t make it necessarily so.

Instead, it is the wrong people that sometimes piss us off with their presence.

They irritate us because they mess up our plan and although we could spend weeks, months or even years fighting against it—in the end there is something that continually draws us together.

That’s not to say we necessarily understand the connection or that we are in a place to always be ready to explore it.

But, the wrong person can come in and, thankfully, shatter everything that we believed to be true about ourselves and our lives—only to leave us with a better version of reality.

The wrong person doesn’t really care about making us feel comfortable, they don’t care about doing or saying the right thing all the time—and they don’t really care at how bad their timing is.

The wrong person doesn’t really care about anything at all—except for what draws us to them.

Like a moth to a flame.

And though we risk making ruins of both of our lives—we just can’t choose to stay away.

Every single day, we have the option to build back up those same old walls—to hide behind our version of why it would never work—and how on paper, it is all wrong.

But, God—when has wrong ever felt so right?

It is in those moments of letting go, and letting those walls cave in that we can begin to appreciate that person, not for who we want them to be—but for who they actually are.

And while, unfortunately, none of us live in that perfect world—we do live in a world where we can embrace our free will and the choices that we do have.

Because we always have a choice.

We can continue to live life as we always have and to let our ego lead the way to what we are “supposed” to be doing.

Or, we can say the hell with it.

We can choose the irrational, the confusion, the I don’t know how this would ever work, the passion and the fire—because being open and vulnerable doesn’t mean pushing our own agenda.

I’ve spent years trying to run from my own version of wrong.

I’ve behaved awfully, I’ve lied to others—but probably to myself most of all.

I’ve tried to make sense of it and to fit it into a neat and pretty package, like all of my other relationships—but in the end, the damn thing just would never fit.

So, I’m considering making the choice of letting things be messy—of letting it just stay unwrapped.

And while I may still ponder building up those same walls again—this time I have a feeling it will be different.

Because sometimes people really can change—and sometimes timing really does make all the difference.

I’m not saying wrong has become right—or that I can explain every inch of what exists between this person and myself—but maybe the time has finally come when I don’t want to hide from it anymore.

Because honestly, I’ve had right—and that didn’t go so well.

So maybe this time I will try the wrong—because I’ve learned enough about life to know that I certainly don’t know everything.

And while there are a lot of things I can’t explain—I can go into vivid detail about how my senses come alive around this person.

Maybe it’s less about how wrong someone is—than why they hit a nerve with us, in the first place.

Because honestly, I’ve come to realize that if this truly is wrong—then this time I have no desire to be right.

~

Relephant:

8 Benefits of Having a Nemesis. ~ Ashleigh Hitchcock

Author: Kate Rose

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: Andreas Schalk/Flickr

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