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November 4, 2015

10 Signs You Have Drunk the Yoga Koolaid.

Sarah Joy/Flickr

The other day, I was doing some intense yoga in my Ashtanga class, and someone farted. It wasn’t a little toot mind you, but a long, drawn out release of gas that seemed delivered from some unknown realm. And, in response, I committed one of the cardinal yoga sins—I laughed.

I tried to hold it in, but like the fart itself, the laugh would not be contained. The looks I got were enough to shame Miley Cyrus.

This incident goes to show that our yoga practices can become a little heavy sometimes, a little too serious. Yogi Sri Aurobindo once said, “Everyone has in him something divine, something his own, a chance of perfection and strength in however small a sphere which God offers him to take or refuse,” and while we, yogis, try to live those words, their heaviness can get a little overwhelming at times.

Spending hours each week trying to master the handstand, to work through a particularly difficult series, or to live up to the social responsibility that yoga demands, can sometimes make our practices a little too deep, a little too profound. Sometimes we just need some humor, a little R&R from all the seriousness.

So I took a look at my yoga practice and decided, it can be kinda , sorta funny sometimes. And I think it’s just fine to laugh at it.

Here are 10 signs you might have drunk the Yoga Koolaid too:

1. You stop at an ATM before going to Lululemon to buy those new yoga pants because you don’t want to leave a paper trail for your partner.

2. You wore those new pants for three straight days, sleeping in them, going out in them, spilling your dinner on them, and then sleeping in them again, never once actually doing yoga in them.

3. You’ve tried every type of yoga under the sun and are actually considering the new prenatal class just to see what’s it’s all about—plus you’ve got to be better than all those prego chicks.

4. You are so into your Hot Power yoga class that your fellow yogis have created a designated splash zone 10 feet around you.

5. You have combined yoga with other hipster sensations and see nothing wrong with doing acro-yoga at the brewery after having four IPAs.

6. You dream about your male yoga teacher at night—you know, the one with the beard and the man bun—and pray every day in class that he will make this a “hands-on” session.

7. You heard about naked yoga and because of your man-bun-toting yoga instructor, you are actually considering it, regardless of that downward dog image seared into your brain.

8. You’re so into mastering new yoga poses that your teacher (not the hot one, thank god) asked you to please refrain from the headstand after you kicked a fellow yogi in the face.

9. When Yogi Bear died, you were depressed for a few minutes before your partner explained to you who he really was. (Too soon?)

10. You wanted to make this a top seven list after your friend told you about the seven chakras (whatever those are), but you thought just changing the title was good enough.

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So, you’ve realised you drank the Yoga Koolaid? Then these are must-haves: 

10 Must Have Buys for the Spiritual Materialist.

~

Author: Kristie Dowling

Editor: Katarina Tavčar

Photo: Sarah Joy/Flickr

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Kristie Dowling