In my mind I see you, and because of that I am never alone.
My shadow asks me:
“What do you fear? Are you not scared of being on your own?”
My faith smiles and answers, unhindered by judgment and guided by a voice so familiar yet so far away:
“I do not need to seek to find answers. Why question a truth which is there either way?”
My shadow wants to argue:
“How you can be certain of something that isn’t yet there? I don’t understand?”
Faith replies unfazed:
“I knew their face long before my history, lessons and loss had even begun. I kissed them before I met them. Before fear taught me to question and forget. And although their outline may sometimes fade. I trust too much to let go yet.”
My shadow sometimes will ask me:
“Aren’t you afraid that you’ll be by yourself?”
Yet, deep within me, faith answers:
“I’d be far lonelier claiming a love that was meant for someone else. For in this life I’ve kissed enough people convincing myself they were who and what I am. I’ve woken up in a stranger’s embrace. I’ve failed to understand. The loneliest times have been when I’ve compromised my soul. I’ve lost my truth through their need to control me. My strengths became their failures. My prison their home.”
Despite these lessons my shadow still questions:
“What happens if you don’t find love? Will you ever truly fit in?”
Yet, despite my shadows fear my faith gives me trust to ask and begin.
To my future love,
I call you love because I am still waiting to find who you are and how we met.
Yet, I write this message to you so you do not give up hope. So you do not forget.
Do not try to seek for me. Just know that, in some distant time, I have already found you.
Do not rush to find me for fear you should confuse me for somebody else.
Before you tell me you love me, give yourself the growth, understanding, journey and time to know and love yourself.
Once you have found me:
Give me the freedom, trust and time to travel, journey and fly. Know you are whole without me and that, should our paths diverge, it does not mean goodbye.
For each life we live is different. The lessons, growth and roads-traveled change.
Just smile and trust, that in some unknown time and space, I’ll hold your hand again.
Author: Rebecca Hannah
Apprentice Editor: Jessica Chardoulias, Editor: Caroline Beaton
Image: Author’s Own