Dear Higher Self,
Hereby, my official cosmic contract based on suffering has been terminated. After thousands of years and many lifetimes, it seems appropriate to end it, now.
From here on forth no suffering is part of any future contract.
The new contract is based on joy. Although the joy will rise from the inside, triggers on a regular basis will be given from the outside to initiate this inside joy. Triggers may be in the form of passion, romance, financial aid, abundance, surprises, beauty, and travel opportunities.
I promise to respond appropriately to the triggers and allow the fountain of joy to burst through the cells and the bones of my humanity.
It has become clear to me that suffering has been a deliberate contract, drawn up by myself with myself, in complete agreement with both parties.
You might wonder why on earth someone would be so stupid as to draw up a contract of this nature. Well, the reason is quite simple and rather obvious: I am a spiritual snob. Or rather, I was one. I know this because whenever I meet one I get triggered on a deep level. I cannot stand them.
In a situation where real empathy is called for, their clear, self-righteous voice can be heard: “It was meant to be.” Or: “Oh well, this is their karma. Nothing we can do.” Or, with a shrug of the shoulder: “It is part of the big picture.” (Which is probably all true; it is not that which I detest. It is the coldness with which the words are delivered that upsets.)
Somehow, I know the owner of that voice too well. The one who speaks from a place too high. The one who looks down on human life, detached and without heart. That voice was mine. And it frightened me. My human side wanted no part in it. Therefore I made a contract: I will come down to earth and live and live and live until I truly know human suffering. I will know it so well that never ever again will I stand on my pedestal and look down and judge.
Never again will I speak without empathy or compassion.
And so I have reached a point in this life where I can say “enough.” I am here. I know suffering—so well that I may let go of it now. No more. I may know joy, too. I may allow it in my life. It will not take away from the depth and sorrow I have known and have made part of my being forever. It is time now for a new day. A new life. A different agreement.
And maybe one day when I know joy well enough, I can let go of that agreement too.
But from now on, into infinity, whether on this planet or elsewhere in the vast cosmic universe, I promise to have heart, to always be just an ordinary, down-to-earth kind of soul.
Author: Bianca Cotton
Editor: Catherine Monkman