2.0
November 29, 2015

To the One I’ll Always Love: Know that I See You.

 

face warm couple love

I love that you need the temperature to be at an even number. You think it’s neurotic, but I see your need for consistency and balance.

I love that you make your son’s school lunch every morning. It shows what a loving and dedicated father you are.

I love the way you wonder what I’m thinking when I’m silent or looking at you.

When I’m silent I’m overanalyzing you and trying to figure you out. When I’m looking at you I’m thinking about how sexy you are and how you don’t know that you’re amazing.

I love that you need things to be clean and orderly, especially your vehicles. It shows that you take pride in what you have.

I love your geekiness for technology. You have a passion for learning and a love for future possibilities.

I love your dedication to your life’s work and that you put time and effort into doing things in a quality way. The result is one of excellence.

I love that you can fix anything and your brain naturally understands how things work.

I love that you text me right away. It shows that you care enough about me to not leave me wondering if you will respond.

I love that our first phone conversation lasted eight whole hours. The words that you said are forever written in my heart.

I love how you love your mom and look to her for guidance before you look to almost anyone else. A person’s relationship with their mom speaks volumes about their character.

I love the way you lay your head on my lap and let me run my fingers through your hair. It’s one of the only ways you’ve shown me your utter vulnerability.

I love when you look me in the eyes because you know how much it means to me. Your eyes make me feel things I’ve never felt before. I also know how uncomfortable that kind of intensity makes you.

I know our souls are connected and our hearts will always feel a pull toward one another. This is the kind of gravity neither of us can control.

But I know that we are not right together, at least not right now.

I know that your anxiety makes it impossible for you to move forward.

I know that my own insecurities make it impossible for me to know what I want or who I am.

I don’t want to morph into what I think your expectations are.

I don’t want you to feel inadequate just because I’m not getting what I need from you.

I don’t want to change you, but I do want your heart to change. And your heart isn’t ready for that.

Know that I see you as you are. And the truest, purest expression of my heart is to accept you.

So instead of anchoring you down with my love, I will turn around and walk the other way.

 

Relephant read:

A Letter to my Exes: Why I’ll Always Love You.

 

Author: Danielle Anderson

Editor: Nicole Cameron

Image: Nadia Morgan/Flickr

 

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Danielle Anderson