November 17, 2015

What if Darth Vader Worked in HR? {Adult}

original art work by Rebekah Freedom

There is a time in everyone’s life where they have to solve the how the f*ck do I make money equation.

This leads most to the gateways of hell otherwise known as Human Resources. Hello to all of you who toil in Human Resources/human trafficking.

The industry of “focus on job security” is like the Death Star. It is a place where dreams go to die and the force is not with you—not even close. I mean, honestly, what have we done? We’ve taken people and said, “Listen, since we’ve seduced you into thinking security is real, here are some khaki pants, a badge, and a world of beige.”

That being said, we can’t all be YouTube famous or freelancers. I mean, you can try and sometimes it pays off big. The man-bun, cats with toast on their faces, furry things that come out of eggs, Jenna Marbles, and some dude named Shay Carl have all cracked the I’m doing what I want and making a butt-ton of money code.

And, you don’t need to be famous to live a good life. You don’t need to write up a killer resume and have some grumpy old lady named Tina or some fresh-out-of-college girl named Britney—who work as gatekeepers for the corporate drone—to decide the fate of how income comes to you. That being said, you need to learn how to play the game.

Most people don’t know what they want so they do that. It looks like latching onto ideas that don’t fit. As I say this, I know I sound like a self-help asshole who is all, “So, um, live your best life.” Dude, there is a f*cking Live Your Best Life aisle at Barnes and Noble.

How about I live just enough? I drink just enough. I have sex just enough. How about that?

That is step one of the game. Find your “enough.”

This is where you have targeted what you want to do and you start doing it. Sometimes it takes years of doing what you don’t want to do to get clear, “Oh, now I get it.”

It has taken me 35 years to figure out that I equate drama with sex, money, and love. Life had to be hard for me to feel accomplished. It was a powerful insight to know that when I do things that are easy for me, my life is full of ease. Actually, a few dear friends pointed these things out to me.

That is step two of the game. Make and keep good connections. Who you know matters. But, even more than this, how you foster those connections means the world. The key is to listen to people. Listen for what they are wanting and, if you can, connect them to it.

I just gave you a little piece of gold there, so before you gloss over it, (you A.D.D. mo-fo; love you), listen. Everything good in life comes from connection. If you know who you are and can connect to the inspirations that come to you so that they can move through you, you can then connect to others. You figure out who you are by interacting with other people. Keep the ones around that challenge you, inspire you, dust you off and help you get back out there. Be gracious with the rest because they are teaching you how to set boundaries.

That is the third step of the game. Own your “No!” It is great when you can say yes to things. It feels good to say yes to the dress, yes to the vacation, yes to the good meal, yes to the great sex, and yes to well-being. And, sometimes, you have to drop the hammer and say, “No!”

Saying no helps you to create space, pump the breaks, and get sh*t straight.

The rest of the steps to playing the game of make money and do it in a way that is fun, easy, and inspires growth in me and others can be complicated.

So, let me just offer you an outline to living the Enough-life (trade-mark 2015 all rights reserved). Listen to those things that tug at you. Some people love being in an office setting with funny cat calendars hanging on the wall and pictures of their family tucked away in the corner. It is their bliss.

But, mostly it is a means to an end. Crazy right?

So, I’m not going to go too far into metaphor here. You get the point. Darth Vader does work in HR. There is an epic battle against the Empire that is endemic. Our lives are predicated upon for-profit institutions; the government being one of them.

Beat them by joining them. Learn to make money while having fun. There are a million ways to do it and you don’t have to invent any one of them.

That is the last phase of the game. Find a blue-print for making the amount of money that is enough for you and copy it.
I’m not the first person to do stand-up comedy, to write a book, or to wrestle with the complexities of life. All the stuff that is bothering you, you didn’t invent. And, when you figure out how to live just enough, it will be the most original thing anyone has ever done.


*This is me, finally, doing what is easy:



Relephant Favorite:

I Want to Crawl Into a Ball and Cry Myself into a Coma. But, I Guess I Will Fold my Laundry Instead.


Author: Rebekah McClaskey

Editor: Travis May

Photo: Author’s Own

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