December 21, 2015

How Empaths can Keep Cool Through Family Drama.

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Decades ago, my Grandpa was mistaken for being in the Italian mafia.

He had a Godfather aura about him. Handsome and dressed to the nines he’d saunter into a packed restaurant and without a word be escorted past twenty hungry people to the best table.

What they say about Italians is true: we are equally loving as we can be intense and dramatic.

For me it’s a blessing as it keeps my life rich and packed full of warmth and love, but with that said I have a sensitive nervous system or what some call being an empath or intuitive. Meaning I tune in and absorb people’s energy and moods as if they were my own, so sometimes the Italian flair was over the top for me!

Over time, I realized absorbing everyone’s stress wasn’t helping them and it certainly wasn’t helping me—so I strengthened my energetic boundaries and developed ways to stop taking on stress that wasn’t mine. Now I can be open-hearted and at ease in a room full of good ol’ fashion drama—which is great, since human drama is a part of life and I don’t want to have to retreat to connect with my inner peace.

Now even a proper Italian outburst isn’t enough to throw me off my center.

Actually it brings me deeper into my heart and for this I am grateful.

Here are a few gems that help me keep my “zen” and have more fun during the holidays:

I pull in my energy field.

The Heartmath Institute measured that the human heart has the strongest electromagnetic energy field in the body (5,000 times more powerful than our brain) and it extends 8-10 feet outside our physical body. Our heart’s electric field has many purposes and one is to read the energy and safety of our environment.

To decrease taking on a room full of thoughts, emotions or stress I consciously pull in my field two to three feet around me. If you’ve never tried this—it is as easy to do as thinking about it. Just consciously intend to pull your energy in. You’ll feel a shift when you do. I notice that my breath deepens and I feel more at peace because my field has taken a reprieve from monitoring and anticipating the energy of the room. I then fill up with love by connecting to Spirit.

Be emotionally responsible for moi.

We humans can unwittingly try and be emotionally responsible for others—aka wanting everyone to be happy and get along. Yet this is ultimately an impossible task that not only drains our energy, but puts us at the mercy of everyone else’s moods. (Not to mention loosing our joy, gratitude and peace in the process). Now I remind myself that it is my responsibility to be emotionally responsible for myself and it is not my job to make others happy—that’s their job and their spiritual business. If they’re grumpy or anxious about something that doesn’t have to negatively affect me. My inner world is not dependent on the outer world for me to find peace. My calm and joy is an inside job.

Affirm that all is well.

As adults our bodies can remember how we felt when we were kiddos—especially when we are around certain family members. Even if everyone is enjoying each other our body’s might be tense.
If I notice this I gently tell my body: I am safe and secure. All is well…
This truth statement deflates stress and gracefully creates inner calm.

Go with humor.

Sometimes if tensions arise, I pull back and see the humor of humans getting worked up about—well, I’ll just say it: the dumbest sh*t of all time!

We don’t have to take things personally and go to battle over petty things if we don’t want to. I’ve learned I have a choice and during the holidays I’d prefer to see human behavior as quarky and entertaining, rather than annoying. Sort of like wearing a humor invisibility cloak what hilarious, completely inappropriate thing someone might say next?! Yes!

Radiate gratitude.

Our beloved and late teacher, Wayne Dyer once said,

“Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.”

I’m not promised another holiday with my family. None of us are. We have the choice to make this one count and feel gratitude for each one of the Souls we are blessed to share our lives with.

Even the ones who challenge us—we can look past the armor and the drama and connect to the shared power of love that created all of us. And it’s my belief that if we can practice doing this with our immediate family, we can develop our hearts strength and wisdom to see past the challenges and differences with our global family too.

Certainly our world could use more conscious lovin’ these days.

Happy Holidays elephant fam!






A Survival Guide For Highly Sensitive People, Introverts & Empaths.

Identifiers vs. Empaths & How to Change the Energy around us. {Podcast}



Author: Bella Dodds 

Editor: Renée Picard

Image: Wiki Commons 

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