December 8, 2015

Sexual Meditation (Alone or with a Partner).


Meditation helps us to remain present so that we have awareness of our mind, body and soul. 

One of the reasons that meditation is beneficial is because it promotes mindfulness which alleviates the effects of anxiety that can develop from stressful and busy lifestyles. Anxiety and stress are both known to increase the production of cortisol, and high levels of this hormone dramatically decrease sexual arousal.

Mindfulness is beneficial in all areas of life and when practiced alongside sex it can help us to relax as well as escalate desire and energy levels.  

Therefore, when we practice Sexual Meditation we achieve an enhanced awareness of our bodies, which heightens physical and emotional sensations resulting in a more pleasurable and sensual experience.

Whether the meditation takes place alone, or with a partner, the steps are very similar and we will still achieve an exceptionally sensual and sexual experience.

If the meditation is being done with a partner, set the right intention by talking to one another affectionately, sharing meaningful intimate thoughts and deep feelings. Expressing heartfelt feelings to a partner, helps us to attune to their energy and creates a bonding, loving connection.

If possible, refrain from caffeine or other artificial stimulants, as well as technology, for at least an hour beforehand.

Begin by choosing the right setting where there will be no distractions. Softly light the room with aromatherapy candles and, if preferred, play calming music in the background. If comfortable, we should wear minimal or loose clothing that can easily be removed.

Start with a mini meditation to slow things down and build a rapport.

Sit upright with a straight spine, if comfortable. Focus on the breath and clear the mind free of any repetitive thoughts and clutter. When the mind wanders, just gently nudge it back to the present moment. Although when we first practice meditation, we can feel irritated if our mind will not still, as we continue we realize that when we become aware that our mind is jumping around, we are actually making progress. Every time we meditate or practice mindfulness we are carving out deeper neural pathways, so eventually a present state of mind becomes second nature.

If the meditation is being carried out with a partner, face one another and lightly hold hands and gently squeeze when the mind has stopped racing and you are ready to move to the next stage.

With eyes open, begin pranayama, which is a simple breathing exercise. Placing our hands on our stomach, just above the bellybutton, with fingertips touching, take a deep inhalation through the nose, noticing the fingertips part as the belly area expands. Exhale through the mouth and the fingertips should reconnect as the belly is pulled back inwards. If we are breathing with a partner, we should gaze into one another’s eyes and if possible, harmonize our breathing so that we inhale and exhale in time with one another.

Lying down on our sides facing each other, pay attention to how the body feels on the inside and out. We should let go of any inhibitions, as focusing on how we look or how well we our performance might be will hinder the potential for a truly authentic and intimate experience.

Move the attention from our own body and mind and onto our partner’s body and mind. We can do this with eyes open or closed, whichever is more comfortable. When we connect with our partner and we are fully conscious and in the moment, we will be able to sense their electromagnetic field (aura) which radiates outwards from their body. We all have an outer vibration that varies depending on however we are thinking or feeling emotionally or physiologically. As we tap into our partner’s aura we will connect with these vibrations, and if we also keep an awareness of our own vibrations, we can attune so that we harmonize our energy and vibrate on a similar frequency. 

We can then visualize vibrations of rose-pink cords of love emanating from the heart-centre (Heart Chakra). Focus awareness on the build up of energy that is simmering and channel it through the body, and outwards towards your partner. If we are alone, we can visualise the energy circulating through and around our bodies while thinking about someone we care deeply about it. We can then imagine the energy also rotating around their bodies too.

As we then turn our attention to stroking and touching one another, we can view the body movements that are taking place, which activate mirror neurons in our brain. When we watch our partner receiving pleasure, or pleasuring us, it spikes the pleasure zone in our brain and we are able to empathise and intuit how our partner is feeling. As we view our partner becoming highly aroused, this stimulates our own sexual arousal which will attune, synchronize and heighten also.

We can then stroke and massage our own, or each other’s bodies, alternating between a slow and gentle touch, to firmer and quicker movements. We can then begin to slowly and sensually kiss our partner. 

As we move through each stage, and eventually on to full penetration, if that is mutually desired, we should remember to keep our attention and awareness focused on the sensations occurring all over our bodies, on our breathing, and also how our skin feels as our naked flesh connects and our limbs entwine with our partner’s.

The feel-good endorphins, such as oxytocin, that are released during sensual or sexual activity helps to create fulfilling relationships, increase our overall sexual appetite, promotes and enhances orgasms, while they also improve our emotional, psychological and physiological health and general well-being. The powerful side-effects of awakening our sensory organs by using Sexual Meditation could last not just for hours, but for days afterwards, ultimately giving us vitality, positivity and a renewed optimistic outlook on overall life.


Relephant Favorite:

Tantra 101: A Practical Guide to Yab Yum.


Author: Alex Myles

Editor: Travis May

Image: Flickr/Timo Schmitt

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Bob Phillips Apr 23, 2016 3:13pm

Hi there! Great article you have, I would also want to share my thoughts that Meditation indeed has positive effects not only in the body but also in the mind, a total holistic wellness that brings us to know our inner-self better. It gives us a peace of mind that helps us have a much better perception about our lives. Our advocacy is to promote the positive effects of meditation, yoga and inner wellness. Help us, visit our website at http://www.iamthechangeiseek.org and also www.goodreads.com/kathleensuneja. You can also download the app at https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.goodbarber.iamthechange. Thank you and have a great day!

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Alex Myles

Alex Myles is a qualified yoga and Tibetan meditation teacher, Reiki Master, spiritual coach and also the author of An Empath, a newly published book that explains various aspects of existing as a highly sensitive person. The book focuses on managing emotions, energy and relationships, particularly the toxic ones that many empaths are drawn into. Her greatest loves are books, poetry, writing and philosophy. She is a curious, inquisitive, deep thinking, intensely feeling, otherworldly intuitive being who lives for signs, synchronicities and serendipities. Inspired and influenced by Carl Jung, Nikola Tesla, Anaïs Nin and Paulo Coelho, she has a deep yearning to discover many of the answers that seem to have been hidden or forgotten in today’s world. Alex’s bestselling book, An Empath, is on sale now for only $1.99! Connect with her on Facebook and join Alex’s Facebook group for empaths and highly sensitive people.