December 11, 2015

To the Smart & Sexy Ladies who Still can’t Find Mr. Right, here are 5 Reasons Why. {Adult}

Natalie Portman 1

Editor’s note: Dear friends, while we may disagree with this author, even violently or vehemently, as some of you have expressed, that’s great. We’re a community that allows space for dialogue—even for some of us to be “wrong.” That’s how we all learn. If we want to all agree with one another 100% of the time, there’s MSNBC or Fox News. elephant is not a yes-men club. Please be kind to one another in our speech, even in our disagreeing, which is welcome here. That’s what elephant is for.

Have opinions or thoughts about this article? Join the conversation by commenting below or sharing your own view here.~ Ed.

There are many lovely women who can’t understand why it’s difficult to meet a great guy.

After all, most men value a woman who is attractive on the inside and outside. So, why is it hard for an attractive woman to meet Mr. Right?

If you are an attractive woman who is curious to learn some of the reasons why it has been difficult to find a love relationship, consider these reasons.

1. Beauty. The more beautiful a woman is, the more likely she will be approached by a man who is primarily attracted to her beauty. Often this type of man is shallow and not interested in her internal qualities such as personality, intelligence, character or sense of humor.

Solution: Be flattered that a man finds you lovely to look at. But make sure to ask him what personal qualities in a woman he most values. If you don’t get some specifics that show he’s thoughtful, be concerned that he may not value your other great qualities.

You might be just “eye candy” to such a man.

2. Sexy Body. The sexier a woman’s body is, the more likely she will be approached by a man who is overly focused on her physical, attractiveness. Often this type of man is sexually motivated. He may be the type who objectifies a woman and enjoys the sport of hunting, seducing and conquering women.

Solution: It’s wonderful to be a woman who takes pride in her appearance, exercises and eats healthy and is acknowledged for her efforts. There’s certainly nothing wrong with a man who appreciates this facet of a woman. However, be mindful of a man who, upon a first meeting is overly focused on “what a great body you have” or compliments “what a great a$$ you have.” These are signs that you’ve attracted a man who might be looking more for a “hook-up” than a relationship, no matter what else he says.

3. Emotional Intimacy. Through no fault of her own, when a woman may have difficulty attracting men who value emotional intimacy. The likely reason is that many sensitive men who are capable of an emotionally intimate relationship may look at her and think, “she would never be interested in an average guy like me” or “someone as beautiful as her, is way out of my league.”

It would be easy to dismiss a man who thinks this way with a comment such as: “Well, that’s his problem.” But what if this man might be the “right man” for you? What if your beauty is more of a curse than a blessing because some men might think you’re not approachable?

Consider that this might be the reason why, the “right kind of guy” never seems to ask you out.

Solution: If you see a man who looks interesting or one who seems to make eye contact with you quite often, but doesn’t approach you, it may be because he is shy or intimidated by your attractiveness. If you sense this, why not help him out? Be willing to approach any man you’re interested in. After all, your choices for meeting men may seem limited, if the dating connections you have are only with those men who approach you. Be proactive if you see an interesting man you might want to meet. Let him know you are approachable. Be willing to engage in a conversation to see if he is someone you’d like to know better.

4. Bad Attitude. An attractive woman can, understandably, grow tired of men constantly “hitting on her,” because they are only interested in a sexual connection. A woman in this situation may expect this pattern to continue forever. This frustration can result in closing herself off emotionally to men in general. In essence, she’s willing to “throw the baby out with the bathwater.” The danger becomes that her cynicism eliminates the real possibility of meeting a truly nice man, who she can connect with in a meaningful way. Therefore, her skepticism about never meeting the right guy becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that becomes her reality. The vicious cycle never ends.

Solution: If frequent dating leads to constant disappointment, it can cause an attractive woman to be especially wary and cynical in the process. If this is your experience, consider being more discriminating before you accept a date. Be willing to consider a man more carefully before you go out on a date or jump into a relationship. In today’s job market, you can’t get a job by just having a 30 minute conversation. You have to examine it far more carefully. So, consider having a deeper conversation with anyone you’re considering dating. Learn more about their character, values and interests before you accept a date. This will help insure that this is someone you actually want to get to know better.

5. Over-Emphasizing Beauty. An attractive woman has to be careful of not putting all her energy in attracting a man through beautification alone (i.e. make-up, dress and jewelry). After all, there are some women who try to boost their self-esteem by going overboard in their effort to make themselves more desirable to men. This strategy often has the opposite affect: instead of attracting the right kind of man, a woman attracts the wrong type of guy.

Solution: It is wonderful for a woman to look her best, making herself up and dressing in a way that makes her feel attractive and sexy. But many women go out to a party or a pub, wearing the most alluring, low-cut blouse or the tightest outfit they can squeeze into. If that’s you and it’s the way you want to express yourself—then,that’s your choice. But recognize that if you look like a “hot babe,” you are far more likely to attract a man who is only interested in getting you into bed. This is reality. If you’ve dated more than your fair share of men who only seem to want to have sex with you, make sure the way you dress is not sending out the wrong message.

The more sexy you look and dress, the more conscious you should be of displaying your “outer” qualities to the men you meet. Anticipate that many of them will be attracted to you because you do look “hot.” That’s great. But, be prepared to show them your sparkling personality, your keen intellect or your great sense of humor. This is a clear way for men to understand that you’re much more than a “pretty face.” You are the total package

Consider these reasons. They may shed light on how to be more successful in meeting quality men to have relationships with or, they may help you understand why it’s been difficult.

It’s a New Year and a great time to take a look at yourself and consider a different approach in your dating life, so that you’re more likely to meet Mr. Right.

To learn about your Horoscope, and how the planets may be affecting your love relationships—go to the Free Transit Calculator and entering your birth date. And, if you’re curious to learn more about your personal Horoscope and what it says about your love relationships, career, investments and health in: Order your customized Report: Your Horoscope & Future in 2016. Or, a report on: Your Love Compatibility. This is the holiday gift-giving season. Why not give this report as a gift to someone special?



5 Ways to Recognize a Man Who is Connected to His Heart.

Author: Larry Schwimmer

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr/Soletron


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