Having crushes can be the best thing ever or the worst feeling in the world.
There are the awful, please-validate-my-existence kind of crushes, and the giddy, inspiring, I’m-drunk-off-of-the-happiness-of-knowing-you-exist crushes.
Crushes are not limited to the mere sexual, romantic, “courtly love” kind. Being wildly, all-consumingly attracted to someone’s whole existence can transcend mere I-want-to-date-you energy.
Moreover, our crushes can teach us about ourselves. Our patterns of attraction are valuable information that, when we shed consciousness on them, can give us insight into our broader decision-making, interests and potential for happiness and fulfillment.
Yes, crushes are that powerful!
Currently I’ve got two giant crushes. They are Internet crushes.
And I don’t mean the creepy kind of Internet crush. I mean the inspiring, I-have-a-crush-on-your-life crush. And they are teaching me about my priorities, interests, passions and energetic direction for 2016.
The first is on Carolyn Elliott, an online writer, coach and teacher. I discovered her recently when I happened to click on a random Facebook link to this article she wrote, The Seven Traits of Magical People. Intrigued by the title, I read it. I read it and was like, “whoa, this is me.”
I began devouring her online presence the way anyone who has a major Internet-crush devours an online presence. I loved her tone, her attitude, her world-view, her metaphysics. I loved her spunky street-language about magic and manifestation and feminism and entrepreneurialism. The depth of how this content resonated with me makes me feel like that clicking on that first Facebook link was providential and synchronistic.
Now a word about the anatomy of my crush.
Normally when I have a crush on someone, I’m either terrified or totally excited for them to know I have a crush on them. If I’m terrified, it’s usually a sign that we’re not really a good fit for each other. I’m more in love with the idea of them than who they actually are. I then tend to hide from them and avoid them at all costs. Those kinds of crushes can suck.
But sometimes I can’t wait for my crush to know how head-over-heels crazy I am for them. Their presence in my life excites me to my very core and makes me feel more alive.
The great thing about this crush is that I’m not trying to hide it. I have no problem with my new crush finding me on the Internet and reading this fan-girl article about her. In fact, I really hope she does. I want tell her everything about myself!
I’ve already added her on Facebook, and have sent a request to do personal coaching with her (she hasn’t written back, but I’m not perturbed!). Signing up for her writing class is in my budget for 2016. As far as falling in love with Carolyn Elliott, I’m all-systems-go.
But it’s not exclusivity I’m after. Because in the last few weeks, a new online crush has taken my Chrome tabs by storm. It’s a crush on a podcast.
Recently Carolyn Elliott was interviewed on this podcast, and she sent out the link on her newsletter (obviously I subscribe). Not only did I get to hear my crush’s voice for the first time (OMG!), but I discovered yet another morsel of Total Awesome Internet Crushworthiness: the podcast series itself, Being Boss.
Being Boss is a show about and for creative entrepreneurs, and since discovering the podcast I’ve been devouring archived interviews with life coaches, therapists, marketing strategists, and intensely creative artists. It’s so much fun. (And yes, I have a crush on the podcast itself, not the persons who run the podcast themselves, because I honestly can’t tell their voices apart yet.) Feeding this crush is tapping me into a whole new Internet frontier I’d barely tapped—the world of creative entrepreneurs.
As a therapist, I’m very interested in how our patterns of attraction and relationships can be guides for better understanding ourselves. I am a pro at falling crazily-into-crush-land on people I barely know. And I’ve learned that when I have a crush on someone, it’s usually because they have qualities I want for myself. Whatever the case, they’ve got some mojo figured out that they’re living their lives with, and I want to learn from them.
I am currently exploring what happens when I put my crush-feeling in the driver’s seat and indulge in my deepest crush-desires without hesitation or reserve. Rather than bridle my crushly craving—to “like” every Facebook page the Being Boss gals manage, to register for every course Carolyn Elliott teaches, to sign up for every newsletter and subscribe to every blog—I’m just going full-force into crush-land. I’m letting the crush breathe, feed, dance, delight and dream.
Because I think the crush has a wisdom of its own.
It is no coincidence that my crushes are on people who run businesses that are based on empowering people (women in particular) to successfully, abundantly and intentionally cultivate the most magical, soulful, independent careers—careers that tap the well of their Higher Selves, that brighten their light, and that manifest both affluence and betterness of the world.
My professional life the past two and a half years has felt deeply magical. I seem to have manifested a career that is full of freedom and opportunity for personal development, a career where most of my professional challenges are directly in line with my personal growth goals, a career that draws on my Higher Self almost daily. I have become more myself through my work. Money-wise, I’ve been fine. I have everything I need and almost everything I want, and have surpassed my financial goals two years in a row.
And I want to go deeper. I want more freedom, more autonomy, more adventures and growth and learning through my work.
But mostly I want more of that feeling. You know that feeling—when you’re knee-deep in synchronicity all the time and you feel like you are actively participating in the spiritual healing of the world with every step you take? I love that feeling. I love it so much. And if I’m honest, I probably inhabit that feeling about forty-percent of the time. I want it eighty-percent of the time! (The fact that I’m too scared to ask for one-hundred percent is a sign of how much much growth I get to look forward to by trusting my crushes.)
Career-wise, I’ve gotten good at what I do, and gotten comfortable enough to coast a bit, and now there’s room for new challenges. I have a sense that 2016 will be an envelope-pushing year, and that I’ll do well to ask for new challenges and take some new risks.
Through connecting to the online-presences of my crushes, I’m connecting with what I think is my tribe: creative entrepreneurs. These are people who, like me, expect that what we do for a living is totally in line with our higher selves. People who would have nervous breakdowns if they had to work nine-to-five at one single place. People who are passionate about being the author of their own lives. People who love self-help books like nobody’s business. People who have little interest in being poor, and who have no problem billing clients comfortable upper-middle-class rates, without an ounce of guilt that getting paid well might cheapen the spiritual core essence of their work. People who believe that life is an adventure that we can get paid to live.
I’m entering 2016 with tons of positive mojo around manifesting more work-life magic. And my crushes are guiding me. I’m feeling giddily crush-happy about Internet people who I think are just positively splendid, and who can show me new doors.
Sometimes those new doors come in the form of a new client, a new contract, a spooky coincidence, or a new crush that totally takes over our ability to think straight. And I believe strongly in the importance of attuning ourselves to the apparition new doors. I’ve been practicing my whole adult life to know when a new door appears before me, and to say Yes when I’m being asked to open it.
Author: Sarah Pearson
Editor: Caroline Beaton