Fold along the dotted lines
Paint within the designated space
Color in by the numbers
Make lists, lots of lists
Begin everyday with lists
End every night with more “to dos” you need to get around to doing
Write as fast as your mind is spinning
Pour all the traffic in your brain onto the page
Accomplish something each day; no–not just something, lots of things
Learn. Feed your brain everyday
Learn something new everyday.
Don’t put off the things on your to do list that trigger you. Just do them.
Don’t lie in bed. And if you must, read.
Don’t sit on the couch and play games on your phone.
Don’t read gossip websites
Don’t stalk your ex-boyfriend.
Don’t check his watsapp, his facebook, his instagram
Don’t check when he was last online
Don’t listen to what he is listening to on spotify.
Don’t try on your fancy dresses and look at yourself in the mirror.
Don’t play pretend, spinning dialogues and debates out loud
Don’t talk to yourself in the mirror
Don’t drink wine alone, eating copious amount of spring rolls, watching British detective shows.
Don’t forget to focus on your breathing.
Don’t forget to take longer…deeper…breaths.
Get f*cked up.
Emotional outbursts. Eruptions
Go to extremes.
Go beyond socially acceptable behavior. And then go further.
Find others who are equally repressed
Equally burdened by the same thought patterns
And let loose
Let loose together.
Take drugs. Take lots of drugs. Try everything.
Ones that speed things up
Ones that slow things down.
Develop preferences for certain drugs.
Get creative. Invent even more extravagant ways to let loose
Push radically against your mental, emotional and physical boundaries,
until you’ve completely lost yourself
And then go even further.
Heart sore and rattled,
Change comes quietly and softly
Allow the fear
Allow the self-doubt
Allow the pain
Allow the darkness
Allow the anger
And release the resentment
Allow yourself to be overwhelmed
And give into the powerlessness,
Just do what you can today and allow
Remember the important things, like time with friends
And looking up at trees when walking through the park
Just do what you can
Just let things be
Just let things happen
Just let writing happen, even if it is shit.
Hope will come
Joy will come
Love will come
Connection will come
But first allow,
And make space
Loosen that grip
Author: Jennifer Yeh
Apprentice Editor: Tammy Novak / Editor: Renée Picard
Image credit: Paullita, Pixabay.com