February 7, 2016

(Not) Another Single Girl’s Guide to Finding Love.

Emmma Peel

It is impossible not to think about romantic love.

As someone who identifies with spirituality, I try to disengage from my ego— that insecure voice in my head that labels, judges and misperceives the present as a disappointment due to expectations for how my life should be, as opposed to what it is. But as someone who believes in the Law of Attraction, I know that in order to calm my craving for a romantic partner, I have to relieve the energy around my desire and quit identifying with the word “single.”

I need something more fulfilling. And when manifesting, it’s important to identify with we want as opposed to separating ourselves from it and seeing it as something we don’t or can’t have.

One morning, after scrolling by another “Single Girl’s Guide to…” article online, I realized that it’s difficult to disengage from identifying as “single,” when most advice articles about women and love focus on this. With Valentine’s Day approaching, this is the perfect time to explain why the word “single”—from a spiritual standpoint—holds no value or truth, and why we are all, regardless of circumstances, in a relationship.

I understand that the only negative connotation surrounding the word “single” comes from a person’s projected perception. In truth, there is nothing wrong with not being in a romantic relationship, and we should feel no shame over this. However, this is not about being or not being in a romantic relationship. This is about disengaging from the label “single,” because it does not make sense for our souls.

In our lifetime, we meet thousands of people and (if we’re lucky) visit hundreds of places. In a Universe where we can experience life and death in the same day, we simply don’t have enough time to be single. In a Universe where everything is moving through us, creating opportunity left and right, we simply possess too much energy to be single. Humans are too expansive to be defined by a term that includes only me, myself and I.

We form bonds everywhere we go. We make connections. We live intricate, complex lives. None of us are ever truly single.

We are in a relationship with all things at all times. We are connected to these things. We are one with these things. Being, or not being, in an exclusive, romantic relationship isn’t the most important characteristic of being a woman. And who decided that to qualify something as a relationship, it has to involve romance and exclusivity? If we cut out the latter, we realize we technically are in a relationship. We are in a relationship with the world around us, for everything we do and everything we seek revolves around love.

When do we feel our best? When we are happy, joyous, inspired, transformed, peaceful and loving. Whether we are consciously aware of this or not, we live in a society that tricks us into believing we want love, when in actuality, we want to be love.

We want to be so full and at peace, that the desire to have an exclusive, romantic relationship is washed away by our unconditional love for everything that is—right here and right now. We want to be so full and so at peace, that the only relationship we are concerned with is our relationship with the present moment. How can we make right now matter? By enjoying it, by wrapping ourselves in its presence, by acknowledging and admiring the things around us, especially the things we normally don’t pay much mind to.

It’s important to disengage from labels that do not hold truth or value with our souls, for cutting the ties between ourselves and labels can free us from illusions and open the body up to receive blessings, miracles and liberation. If you’re like me and are trying to find a way to cease your craving for a romantic companion, just remember, you are already full. You are in a relationship with creativity, potential and opportunity, for these are the things that move around you and through.

We must realize that every day is a new opportunity to meet someone, to go somewhere or to find something within ourselves. When we go beyond the desire for an exclusive romantic relationship, we open ourselves up for a commitment to life. We allow life itself to be our main source of fulfillment. We allow ourselves to receive all the gifts, simple and complex, that life has to offer.

So, the next time someone asks if you’re seeing anyone, respond with, “Yes. I am seeing everyone!” Not only will this feel good, but it might also spark a reaction in the Universe that brings you more dates than you can handle.

And the next time I see an article titled, “The Single Girl’s Guide to…,” I will mentally replace the word single with something more truthful and representative of our experience. Maybe, “The Fulfilled Girl’s Guide to…?”


Author: Sydney Sabol

Editor: Nicole Cameron

Image: emmma peel/Flickr


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