Enough. Why does that one word plague me?
“I am not enough. I don’t have enough. I am not talented enough. I am not smart enough.” You get the picture. Thoughts fueled by the gasoline of fear and ego ring in my head over and over, despite how enlightened I try to be.
The biggest piece of emotional baggage I carry from my childhood is the fear that I am not enough. It’s a fear that has likely been passed down generation after generation in my family. Lucky me!
Logically, my brain know this insidious message is creeping in due to a lack of sleep, the recent loss of a dear family member that feels like a raw, gaping hole, or starting a new job where I have a big learning curve ahead of me—my comfort zone has disappeared and it’s a blank canvas for me to start over in most areas of my life.
For the past year, I have been working diligently to cultivate a Zen mindset of mindfulness, love, abundance and gratitude, but it is serious stuff to undo a lifetime of negative and fearful thinking.
Want to know what it feels like when you first start living from your heart space instead of ego? It feels like you are back in junior high, standing naked with all your awkwardness and flaws, pale and exposed in front of the class. Like anything else, the more you work at positivity the easier it becomes to “just be,” but when you least expect it, that gangly teenager is back worrying about other kids pointing and laughing while you struggle to cover your naughty bits.
I am here to remind you, myself and the world at large that your worth is not determined by what you do. It is who you are that matters. Were you kind to people today? Did you share your smile and your heart with someone? Did you do something that fuels your inner passion? Did you lend a hand when you saw the need of another living being not being met? Then, my dear friends, I am here to tell you, you are more than enough. You are extraordinary.
Think about all the meaningful people in your life, the moments where your heart was touched by someone else so profoundly you would never be the same. I’d be willing to bet none of these moments were about a person’s job title or paycheck. For me, these people are the friends who lent me their shoulders to cry on when my heart was breaking; my debate coach, Mrs. Dunn, who taught me by example what it was to be a strong, intelligent woman and who pushed me to hone the talents I couldn’t yet see inside myself; the new co-workers who send flowers after hearing a loved one has passed away (despite only knowing me for a month); the kind host at my favorite restaurant who has remembered my name for years regardless of how infrequently I visit.
I need the grocery clerks and garbage men more than I need the rocket scientists and heart surgeons out there. I am grateful for expertise of all kinds, but it may not mean much to my daily way of life. A smile or kind word from a stranger can mean a lot more than a piece of paper another may have hanging on their wall. You may not always know when you are that special person in someone else’s life, or that special a**hole who pokes at someone’s wounded heart when they are vulnerable, so bring the best you you can every day.
Don’t believe the lies your ego tells when you stand bravely in front of the world, spine straight and eyes ablaze.
Show up with your heart and know that you are more than enough.
You are the stuff made of stars and you shine brilliantly.
Author: Valerie Byers
Editor: Emily Bartran
Photo: Author’s Own; Boemski/Flickr