She is Your Challenge—if You’re up for It.

Via Sarah Harvey
on Mar 18, 2016
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woman, girl, windy, raw, messy hair,

Maybe it’s the way she always looks like she has a secret on the tip of her tongue.

Maybe it’s the way she holds back, just a tiny, little bit, biting her bottom lip, saying nothing, but expressing absolutely everything.

Maybe it’s the way her hair is always slightly messy, windswept—flowing free like a frothy waterfall, deliciously undone.

What treasures lie beyond the tip of her tongue?

What rubies swim in the vast, deep, dark ocean inside her?

What lush beauty lies, dormant and eager, beneath the scarlet sheen of her soft lips?

That is something you’ll spend the rest of your life uncovering.

She is your challenge.

She cannot be figured out, over a glass of white wine, on a first date, in an hour. She cannot be figured out through body language, through words, through laughter—she can’t be figured out easily, at all.

She’s multi-layered. Complicated as f*ck.

She’s a luscious, colorful garden with blushing roses, budding fruit trees, bluebirds and monarch butterflies—a mountaintop meadow exploding with the first signs of Spring,

She’s a desert—hot and strong and unrelenting as hell.

She’s a mossy forest, deep and mysterious and richly emerald green, like the glint of her eyes in the afternoon sunshine.

She’s the breeze, ethereal, messy, lyrical—a soft whisper of vulnerability.

She’s a fierce howling lioness; a hungry huntress; a vicious, determined wolverine.

She’s powerful. She’s outrageous. She’s afraid. She’s brave. She’s gentle. She’s as badass as they come.

Her eyes look like they hold the seas, tumultuous and powerful, crashing with constantly changing waves of aquamarine and grey and sapphire—somehow wild and serene at the same time.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg—for with every question she answers, more mysteries lie unsolved—hanging in the air like budding lilacs, infusing your mind with an ambrosia of wicked sweetness like you’ve never experienced in your life.

Her presence alone is an elixir. And she knows it.

So, no—she won’t give her heart to just anyone. She won’t dole out slices of her soul like it’s cheap candy.

She knows better.

And no, she’s not interested in being your well-behaved sweet little kitten of a sidekick. She’s her own damn superhero. And, if that scares the crap out of you, then good.

She’s your challenge.

Maybe it’s in the stubborn way she won’t ever be told who to be. Or what to do. The way she stands tall like a gritty lotus, proud in her earthy, sensual femininity—wholly unashamed of the curves on her hips, delighted in the way her flesh spills over slightly from the sides of her blue jeans.

Maybe it’s the way her whole face lights up when she speaks the sacred vines of truth in her mind.

Yes, she’s your challenge, there’s no doubt about it.

But falling in love doesn’t always come easy for her. Maybe other men haven’t valued her or challenged her—or maybe she didn’t yet value herself. Maybe other lovers deeply dissappointed her with empty promises that did not mean sh*t in the end.

She’s looking for something real; something deep and magical and true.

She’s not easy. It will take care and strength and bravery and precision to get to know this woman.

Are you patient?


She’ll blossom in your presence, petal by precious petal, like a salmon-colored rose.

She’s your challenge.

Beware her thorns, for she is certainly not all soft bunnies and whipped cream—she’s got a grittiness to her that only the earth itself can explain.

Maybe it’s all captured in the way she dances through the mud and sh*t and pain and difficulty like a mid-Summer thunderstorm—welcoming every raw raindrop to land on her her tongue as she shakes her hips to the primal beats of rumbling thunder and sobs salty tears with the slightest smile on her face.

Maybe it’s the way she doesn’t turn away from the shattering vulnerability of the present moment, but breathes deeply, looks it right in the face and tastes this moment with her entire heart.

She’s strong because she’s been broken open so many times. She’s gentle because she knows pain so intimately. She’s wise because she’s f*cked up a lot. And she wouldn’t trade any of that for the world—because every mistake and heartbreak transformed her into the wild, magical woman she is today.

She’s magical, she’s maddening, she’s the kind of woman who knows the full extent of her power,

The kind of woman who kisses the dewy earth with every step she takes,

The kind of woman who cares deeply, feels profoundly, and loves madly,

The kind of woman who will passionately argue with you ’til the warm, apricot glow of sunrise,

She’s the kind of woman who will shock you to the core with a single smile.

She will make you question everything; she will be the delicious tornado that blows your perfect little world to bits.

Knowing her is an adventure that you have to be ready for.

Loving her is like breathing for the first time.

Kissing her is alchemy—it’s like peeling open your thirsty heart and drizzling it with a splash of golden mango nectar.

Her presence alone is an elixir; her heartbeat heals the world; her tears make flowers bloom.

She’s a masterpiece and she knows it.

She won’t be easy, that’s for damn sure, but she is more than worth it.

She is your challenge.

Are you up for it?

You have no idea the kind of mystical, life-changing beauty you’re in for.


Author: Sarah Harvey

Editor: Sarah Kolkka

Photo: Porsche Brosseau/Flickr    


About Sarah Harvey

Sarah Harvey is a dancer, life coach, poet, and lover of life. She is passionate about self-love and following the spark of bliss that blooms from our souls. She believes that we all have something extraordinary to offer to the world. She believes that we are most potent when we listen to the whispers of truth that find us in the most unexpected moments. Follow Sarah on Facebook and her website!


14 Responses to “She is Your Challenge—if You’re up for It.”

  1. Matthew says:

    I thought I was ready for that challenge, but I've tried this too many times and i've been walked on. She is too damaged for me to be able to help her, she has to help herself first. Yes I love her, so much.. and Im here for her, but she doesn't realize what I am.

  2. Tiffany York says:

    Love this! I need to start thinking of these traits of mine in a positive light, instead of believing the people who've simply called me crazy.

  3. Pallavi Deshmukh says:

    Beautiful!!.. the power of a strong, unrelenting and a sesnsuous woman!… surprisingly I could relate to most of it..and it feels bloody awesome to thia way..very very well put.. thanks for putting this across and knowing my worth.. 🙂 elated!

  4. Drosslemeyer says:

    She sounds amazing. She tells herself the story of being a challenge to ease the failures of her relationships. She tells herself that its him, not her. But she is not a challenge. She is a fantasy she creates each day in the mirror. A fantasy that washes her clean of guilt and responsibility for the pain she serves to men. A fantasy that hides those parts of her she doesn't want to see. The challenge is not for him to see her worth, it is for her to see the person in that mirror clearly, and grow.

  5. Ed Hare says:

    Ah, Matthew, you may be missing the point. She is not broken, but forged, and she is bold enough to be irrational and know that there is something to be found in things that are not logical. She is bold enough to feel every emotion and not shrink from raw emotions as being something unholy, but seeing everything that arises as a part of the Universe that holds precious treasures.

    You will not hold her in any but a moment, because that will hold her back. In that moment, though, the holding will be soul-searing delightful. You will need to stand with all that she brings, whether it is peace or chaos, because each day, each moment, will be something new, and she can change in the flash of an eye, and if you want to stay in her presence, you will need to follow it.

    If you can’t stand in this, not just accepting this of her, but welcoming both the peace and the chaos that she brings, appreciating it, valuing it and equally ready to explore it, even if it may not always be pretty, you are not seeing all that she is, but are putting so much of her in a “this is not an appropriate way to behave” box.

    Even your statement, “I am here for her” really misses the point, because she does not want you there for her. She wants you there for you, there because you find it all as much an adventure as she does. She wants to feel love with you, and she wants your kindnesses, but only if and when they are your true nature, and the even the tiniest hint of “you are my reason for living” will send her running screaming in the night.

    This woman exists; I have met her more than once, and the failures were mine, putting her in a box, trying to make her mine, trying to be for her what she wanted instead of gloriously being myself and knowing that she will follow me, or not, depending on how what I truly am in a moment matches who she truly is.

    Some of these women have been lovers, most have been friends and if I don’t feel that what we can be for each other can only be put into the box of a romantic relationship, a whole new Universe of possibility opens and when she and he find a realm in which all things are possible, more things will occur.

    This is not one-sided, because this one will know you sometimes in ways beyond you can see in yourself. If you can bring her new ideas, and be willing to throw away most of the rules that we have learned to live by, and explore this world the way she does, she will revel in you as much as you can revel in her, in each moment of new thoughts and feelings.

    If you expect things to stay ever the same, love unchanging eternally, you will one day find her gone, because her life, like yours, is a never-ending change and you will need to let her go again and again, with the very real possibility each time that she may not come back.

    When you can say things like this, instead of blaming her for being broken and thinking that she wants you there “for her,” maybe you will find things working differently. We are all working on our inner journey and personal projects, and she certainly is, but she wants you there to be a companion as she explores and finds things. She wants you there to bring her something new, and she will treasure most of your ideas, and soundly reject others on one day, then embrace them the next. This is not broken, but a true measure of her bold exploration. Just be with it, judge it only to open new doors and completely own your own self.

    I have rambled enough, so I will shut up now. 🙂

  6. RegularGuy says:

    This woman doesn't exist

  7. edhare says:

    Actually, RegularGuy, she exists because I have met her more than once in my life. She is not all wise and knowing; she is standing at the edge of what she knows, trying to make sense of it. She is asking only that others stand there for a while with her, not to chide her for being broken, but to share their thoughts with her about what it could all mean and how to go deeper into the fabric of reality, to find something new. Looking from the outside, she may look to be screwed up, but looking past that and seeing a bold and daring pioneer, you may know someone that is as real as it can get.

  8. notbyyourrules says:

    Ed, you get it.

  9. SmartCookie says:

    Regular guy…. I’m one of those women, and we exist absolutely. You’ll find that we are rarely lonely, though we spend a lot of time alone. We are few and far between. We are the heart and soul we seek. We are the puzzle pieces with funny edges that we know sometimes lack a piece of the picture that we could never fill ourselves and we know that imperfection is OK! Because we can’t be everything all the time. But when someone fills those little dents gently, we love furiously for it. We are grateful and in awe of you for it. We exist and maybe you don’t think so because you haven’t grown yet to know how to rise to this challenge… She won’t expose herself right away. That’s why she’s a challenge.

  10. Wricha says:

    I have poems to contribute. How can i go about it?

  11. elephantjournal says:


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  12. Chrissy says:

    Yesterday I was a buzzing light of stardust and here I am. The women that remember this are wearing Coco Chanel's pants and don't answer to no man. "I told you I was trouble you now that I'm no good."Cheers! 🙂

  13. Drosslemeyer says:

    I find it interesting that edhare was able to "enlighten" Matthew without knowing anything substantial about his experiences. For regular guy and Matthew, they do exist, there are very few, and most are in very stable relationships already because although they are challenges, they understand their desires, compassion, boundaries, respect, balance, and most importantly what love is and is not. Don't give up hope completely, but temper it with the understanding that it is unlikely that you will find someone like the author is describing. But that doesn't mean life will be an unending miserable hamster wheel. And if a woman defines herself as smart cookie has, be compassionate towards them and their lack of self awareness, but move on in your search. They will be unable to truly see you, because you are obscured by the model of a "good man" that they are chained to. If you have ever heard this line you'll understand: "Why can't I find a guy like you?"

  14. Chica says:

    Maybe she doesn't want you because you refer to her as damaged. Maybe you need to respect her for her resilience and not condescend her with your savior complex.