The Woman whose Name was Addiction. {Poem}

Via Mathew Dueck
on Mar 7, 2016
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Today I decided that I was stronger than my addiction, when it called my name.

I turned around to her and told her to leave me alone. It was the most difficult thing I have ever had to tell her.

She did not like it one bit.

She swore that she loved me and that she came back for me because she could not bear being away from me. She promised me that she would never hurt me again and that what had happened was a complete accident.

She vowed to never let that happen again.

I told her that she needed to go.

I was torn, though, for she had endured much suffering herself, and I could relate to her—she was a wounded spirit. Still, her nature was resilient, and she was astounded that I had never been touched by her hand before we met.

 

I stood there thinking.

She was beautiful.

She was seductive, intelligent.

Her voice was soft.

Her hair, dark, long and wavy.

She was tall and gorgeous.

She was a mystery.

 

I remembered though, that when she got angry she was vicious.

She could be harsh, abrasive, manipulative, and fearful.

It was in her nature to control.

I knew that she desired me.

And I desired her.

 

She told me that I was her other half.

She said that we were puzzle pieces, that could perfectly interlock.

I wasn’t sure if I could believe her this time.

Part of me really wanted to trust her again.

Maybe this time, she would really help me escape Darkness.

 

But Resilience came over, telling me that I was stronger.

That I could say no to her, and she would leave.

She would try hanging on, but eventually she would walk away in complete sorrow.

 

Today she lost, and today I won.

 

I am becoming what I deserve.

~

  Relephant Read:

Living with Addiction: 6 Lessons that are Crucial for Recovery.

 

 Author: Mathew Dueck

 Apprentice Editor: Rachel Leber / Editor: Catherine Monkman

 Image: ladulcevita/Deviantart 

 

 

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About Mathew Dueck

Mathew Dueck is a social work student with a health care background. Mathew is passionate about mental health recovery and advocacy. He is particularly interested in research surrounding childhood trauma, neurodiversity, as well as the role meditation plays in mental wellness. Mathew’s hobbies include reading, poetry, painting, and spending time outdoors with his husband, Johnathon and dog, Surrey.

Comments

One Response to “The Woman whose Name was Addiction. {Poem}”

  1. thispedestrianlife says:

    A powerful declaration that simultaneously admits the power of "her".