Well it happened. Time to man up and take one for the team.

Man card.

I did it, oh yes I did. I don’t care if your husband or boyfriend has. I did it!

I went to the store on my way home from work to purchase Gatorade and feminine hygiene products. It took a 25-minute drive to prepare myself for this event. I got to the store and walked past the aisle three times, and even stood at the end of the aisle, staring at a shampoo, waiting for the women to clear out before I made my move.

After about 20 minutes they finally left, that’s when I made my move.

I stood at the end of the aisle staring down as if it were a desert highway that stretched on as far as the eye could see. My eyes where burning and my stomach was in knots. So I psyched myself up, with a smack on each cheek, I said to myself “You got this, Joe! You got this.”

I made a charge for the yellow and blue package. But as I journeyed down the labyrinth of towering walls of tampons, I realized that, of the 2,000 products on display, all were yellow and blue, and the only way to identify the product in need was to read each one!

Sweat started to trickle down my temples and my heart started to race, because surely a mob of women would be bound for this aisle any minute. Man up time! I regained my composure, took a deep breath, and remembered something about “yellow, thin, wings” and, as sure as what seemed to be the hand of God, my arm was picked up and raised to the proper shelf!

I snatched them down and placed them into my cart (underneath the Gatorade of course) and made haste to the nearest male cashier. The cashier looked at me and gave me a slight head nod, as if I had taken one for the team. He handed me my change and a fist bump.

I felt victorious, as if I could climb a mountain or maybe kill a spider. A good day, a good day indeed. Man card granted.

~

Author: Joe Paterson

Image: Davis Doherty/Flickr

Editor: Jean Weiss