When I first met my lover, even before we first made love, I began to write him a poem each day.
They were not long, or filled with iambic pentameter—these poems captured the little things that touched me about him, about us that day. Perhaps it was his smile when he met me for coffee that morning, or how he took my hand and placed it on his knee as we say side by side or simply offering to help me.
Those poems captured moments that can be overlooked, taken for granted, the little things, that are important parts of the intimate dialogue a couple shares.
When noticed and appreciated, these little things are the building blocks of love.
At times when we feel disconnected, stressed or at odds the little things put smiles on our faces. They help us reaffirm our love. He thinks the little things are sexy. I write them because I want him to do them again.
About two and a half years into our relationship, I stopped writing him poems.
At that time, I don’t know if it was a coincidence or just the passage of time, but we started rushing making love. No more foreplay, we knew what we liked. And we started to forget the little things, the gentle reassurances of our love. Then for the first time in almost three and half years we started bickering. Not full blown fights but snarky remarks. I never thought the day would come when we would squabble over inconsequential matters. He said, “We never did this before. It seems we don’t have time for each other.”
And shortly after that, I decided that it was time to part ways. We just weren’t connecting. I didn’t want to fight. Perhaps the timing wasn’t right. Maybe we had fallen out of love. So I said goodbye to him. I didn’t say a word to him, didn’t respond to his occasional notes, we were done.
We spent four months like this. In silence. I moved on, or so I thought. Then I started to think about him, dream about him, those special moments, poems and how we made love—the little things.
And so our paths crossed again. We simply met for coffee. I never thought I would see him again, but once I saw him and looked into his eyes, I knew I never wanted to forget those little things again.
So now, we are starting again. With a new found appreciation and deeper respect for one another as individuals and for our love. Before we went any further, before we had time to forget, we promised one another, in writing (yes poems) to not rush making love.
So now with our new beginning, we are content with foreplay and talking about the little things so we do not loose sight of our love.
Author: Jane Cowles
Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock
Photo: flickr/April Nicole