July 11, 2016

An Open Letter to the Men who Saw me as a Distraction.

woman alone stop hands ring

Dear distracted men, I’m writing this letter to let you know that I’ve finally realized that I can’t live with being someone’s distraction anymore.

And I think it’s only fair that you choose to not be distracted anymore, and instead see what’s really in front of you.

I might have come into your life at a time that you weren’t expecting; at a moment when you had other plans for yourself and of course, that’s fine. I respect your path. I want to see you achieve your goals. Your life and time are just as important as mine.

And that’s the point I’ve been missing.

My life and time are just as important as yours, but I’ve always made you a priority. I’ve always made sure to have enough time in my life for you and if I ever found that challenging, I made it work, sometimes sacrificing myself in the meantime.

I now see this was one of my biggest mistakes.

How could I expect you to respect a woman who gave more than she had to give? Who put her personal life aside to make room for you when at the same time, you were barely able to show up for the plans we’d so eagerly made together?

In many ways I knew that a big part of you really wanted to show up for those plans, those dates, those moments that could have changed the course of both of our lives. But you couldn’t. Or you just didn’t. I’m not sure I have the reason right for all of those times, for all of you men who failed to appear.

You could only see me as a distraction to your carefully constructed idea of how your life should be playing out. You had a planned to spend some time alone, to build your career or your business, to build your home, to build a stronger relationship with your children, to focus on you music, to travel around the world, to become a better man—whatever your five-year plan may have entailed.

These are all great reasons to not have time or space for me in your life, it’s an admirable declaration of what you’ll do with your time and energy. One of my dreams for this world is to see all of you men step into your greatness, and I’ll give you all the space you might need to do that. I’ll also give you all the support, if you’re ready for it—if you can see how I can be of help.

All that I ask is that the next time a wonderful woman walks into your life at a time when you know you don’t have space for her, let her know and let her go.

Find the courage to be a man who won’t give into lustful desires, only to entangle an innocent woman in the game of pull in and push away.

I’d love to stroll hand in hand through the glowing meadows of loveland with you, but if you don’t have the time, please know, I’ll be just fine.

All of our time is much too precious to spend doing things that we don’t commit to wholeheartedly. If there are things in your life that are getting the half-assed treatment, know it and let something go so that you can show up wholly for whatever’s at the top of your list.

I’m an asset. I’m an addition. I’m a blessing. And if you can’t see that, please don’t waste my time. Or your time, for that matter.

Let’s be honest with each other, and with ourselves, and know what we’re capable of giving and receiving.

Let’s see the blessing that we really are to each other. And if we can’t, let’s walk on. Let’s not keep the same sad song playing on repeat as we try to keep standing on our own two feet.

With love and respect,
The Woman Who Knows Her Worth (And Yours).


Author: Morgan Leigh Callison

Image: Drew Hays/Unsplash

Editors: Katarina Tavčar; Emily Bartran

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