I want to be that someone people turn to between doing and being.
That person they seek to fill the gaps when they just want to laze quietly on a hammock and fill their thoughts with depth. That person they turn to to revel in the mystery of the unknown. That pat-on-the-back friend who just gets it—and them.
As a Cancer, empath and highly sensitive soul, I get it. My gift is filling in the gaps.
I excel at non-doing.
Give me a day with no agenda, and I will become the queen of each moment.
I never get bored. I love to be in solitude.
I may flip through a book, pick out some meaningful passages and revel in them. I may stare at the way the sun glows through the symphonic movement of the leaves in the trees—for an hour. I may gaze at the grass while lying on my belly on a blanket, noticing the delicate movement of the blades as the little bugs flit about.
I will saunter among the trees, a big smile beaming across my face—soaking in their grandeur and my smallness in comparison.
Call to me, and I will come running, handing you a glass of cool mint-lemonade. I will rub your feet and tell you a funny tale about my latest quirky adventure to a thrift store where a newly-widowed grandmother of 12 told me her life story as I helped her carry her load of miscellaneous home-goods to the counter.
Invite me to dinner, and I will not only help you set the table, but offer you an open ear and healing heart. I will carry away your woes along with the dirty dishes. I will scrub away your worries with my salve-like advice.
I am the one you can seek when you don’t know what to do with yourself.
I always know how to fill my moments. And even though I savor my alone time, I savor my time with you even more. I pretend like I don’t need others, but I fear being wounded, so I hide in my shell until you beckon me with “help!”
Help often works better than, “Come play,” because I like to feel needed. This feeling enhances my self-worth, so every so often, tell me that I am. And once I feel that I am wholeheartedly accepted by you, I will play harder than anyone has with you yet.
My laugh is the goofy, giggly one of a child. My cry is the deep wail of a wounded soul.
I know ups just as I know downs. I won’t judge you for yours—I judge myself enough for us both.
My love runs deep. I will never abandon you unless you hurt me by abandoning me first—or threaten to do so.
When I scurry into my shell, I do want to be alone—but not for as long as you think I do. Give me an hour and knock on my hard surface. I want you to beckon me—to lull me gently out of my depths with your soft and sensual calls.
I need to be needed.
I thrive when I am asked to fill your in-between moments.
And if you’re a lover, then you know physical pleasure is something I crave and love to partake in. Earthly delights—be it good food or sex or beautiful surroundings—set me on fire.
So please, show me you need me.
Until then, I will chill with a good cookbook and plan an elaborate meal for 10 loved ones. I will plan and plan it until you invite me to cook for you. I will be too shy to organize it, so gather up some people, and tell me you’re coming over on Saturday. I will make it a meal and a night you will remember for a lifetime.
I am a Cancerian Soul and I am here to fill you up with goodness…if you let me.
So please, let me.
I won’t disappoint you.
Author: Sarah Lamb
Image: Meg Cheng/Flickr
Editors: Emily Bartran; Yoli Ramazzina