The moment I met him, I knew I loved him. In fact, I knew that I had loved him for lifetimes.
It was that feeling—the one that hits us hard in that spot between the second and sixth rib and slightly to the left of the sternum.
This is our heart telling us a truth—the recollection that we have been with this person many times before.
I call this a soul connection, and if we have experienced it, we know. If we haven’t yet, understand that there is a certain spark that comes with it and a subtle peace. An immediate bond of reassurance and stability will wash over us, one that could only be attributed to having been with this particular soul intimately, for centuries before this one. (That, or it is the copious amounts of wine we have been drinking since we met, because—well, being together feels like a homecoming celebration!)
I believe in past lives. In fact, I believe we have each lived dozens of times before this one and will live dozens more after. I also hold fast to the faith that on each occasion we incarnate, we do so with similar souls. We choose to be surrounded by people we will recognize, so that this lifetime, we do not feel so alone.
When we first meet this lover (the one from another life), they are the ones we can’t resist—even though we want to. The bonfire attraction we have for each other might make us believe we should be together now, but often there is a tragic flaw to this reasoning—the practicalities in this life might not be in our favor.
The truth is, the result of coupling with these irresistible souls can be confusing and painful. Possibly with a temptation so electric, we use the motivation of “should,” a little too strongly. We believe meeting someone with whom it feels we have known forever “should” work.
My last soul relationship ended with both of our hearts shattered to pieces, and our pouting lips whimpering, “What the hell just happened?”
Timing, dear friends, is of the utmost importance.
Just because we were together in a previous life does not mean we can be together in this one.
Each life calls for unique lessons to be learned, and this life might not be the one for us to get to know each other better—even if our nostalgic heart wants it to be (because, it will).
But, if they are a true soul connection, we will have the chance to reunite in another time, because that is what we do when we reincarnate—we choose the people we want by our side. And we want these lovers.
Often these rich ties need to be let go of temporarily to make way for something new. Mine did. It is like cleaning out our energetic, love closet. Sometimes we need a new outfit to tour town in, even though we are attached to that old, holey and ripped one!
So if we are having trouble letting go of a partner we now understand to be a soul connection, know that this is normal.
When I was stuck in my last relationship with a man I knew from another life, I had to step back and grasp my whole experience (meaning my life outside of just this one). I reminded myself that soul connections were longer and grander then I intellectually understood. Each soul evolves at a different speed, and this time we might be on a very different trajectory.
The salve for us breaking our hearts over these partners is that there can be a next time; we just have to be patient.
Soul connections work on the big picture, one that we will comprehend much later, so let’s not make ourselves crazy trying to understand it now. That would be like saying we are Buddha or God—nope, we are still human, which is why this hurts so much.
Severing a connection that has been around for ages will be felt in every cell of our aching body. However, this might be the lesson we need to learn at this stage in our self-growth—how to hold our own heart, without them.
Understand too, there are multiple matches for us in this universe and many new ones still to come. Give those old lovers a little space to breathe and build trust that there will be a right time for them.
If we believe in having many lives, we can find peace that there are lifetimes when we are ready for new lovers and for fresh starts. Also, there will be ones that are perfect for that old, familiar love.
Timing, my dear. Timing.
Soul connection love is great enough to allow people to come and go.
If we are struggling over one of these relationships, try watching these partners expand without us for a bit, as we learn to do the same without them.
The progression of love demands the wisdom that each of us walk our own journey, foot-step by tender foot-step, which sometimes means, “Ouch! Sh*t, I just stepped on a thorn!”
Trust, my dears, that there are more chances then just this one.
After all, there’s always next life. Maybe in this current one, we will find something even better!
Author: Sarah Norrad
Image: Flickr/Tomi Nieminen
Apprentice Editor: Thayne Ulschmid; Editor: Yoli Ramazzina