I am a “snoozer.”
There, I said it. I throw my hands in the air and wholeheartedly confess that when it comes to mornings, I suck. Badly. I hit snooze, I cruise social media, roll, stretch—do anything I can to prolong the immediate hazy hours before placing one foot on the ground committing to a day with eyes wide open.
Yes, I said hours.
And I hope you’re not judging, because we all have our flaws. This one just happens to be mine.
I don’t know what it is that makes it so hard for me to face the reality of being awake. I’ve often thought since I have exceptionally vivid dreams, remembering between three and five of them a night—maybe they make me tired? Perhaps it’s just the way I am. The fact is that it requires an incredible amount of will power for me to get up. It is—without a doubt—the hardest thing I do some days.
So here’s my list of tips for getting out of bed. I haven’t actually used any of these tips yet, but I made the list while I was lying in bed this morning, refusing to get out of it.
1. Get a bedmate.
I’m thinking a dog, boyfriend or girlfriend, or friend cool enough to kick your butt into high gear. There’s something about the humiliation of the dog wetting the bed or your chosen bedmate scowling with disapproval that will help you get those toes on the tile.
Note: Only get a pet if you’re prepared to love it and take care of it for the full term of its life. The others should be able to take care of themselves.
2. Count your blessings.
Seriously, count them. From the minute to the massive, count those bad boys up! Start with: I was blessed enough to open my eyes. I have shelter around me, a bed below me and the sky above me. Someone loves me. I have food to eat. I am luckier than most.
Now get up and celebrate this life!
3. Jump around!
Cultivating a practice of movement when you first wake up can help with the morning muddies (as I like to call them). I’m told it may take a little time but it makes sense, I mean, is there a bad day that begins with you connecting and tuning into your body? It can also help boost your metabolism, and make you more alert than coffee—which is what we’re after, right?
I’m not going to lie, this one will be the hardest to incorporate into my routine—mostly because my routine consisted of doing the complete opposite of exercise. Sleeping.
4. Limit social media use until after 12pm if possible.
I work in social media and it may or may not be slowly sucking away my soul. Not because I use it, but because I abuse it. I have a terribly developed habit of scrolling through mindlessly to catch up on what has happened in my sleep. It is a terrible time-waster and serves no purpose other than to make me late 90 percent of the time.
Okay, 95 percent of the time.
5. Finally, if none of this works, I recommend placing your alarm or phone across the room and under a suspended bucket of ice water.
When the alarm going off for 20 consecutive minutes, finally triggering your roommate to bang angrily on your wall you, will feel motivated enough to get up and turn it off. As you pick it up, the bucket of water will be triggered (imagine: a Bugs Bunny type of apparatus) and you will be dunked with a freezing cold “wake-the-f*ck-up, loser” juice and you will alertly start your day.
What you say? Impractical clean up? My phone will get wet?
There will be no follow up questions to this rant, thanks.
Author: Elyse Sinclair
Image: Jellaluna at Flickr
Editor: Renée Picard