Untangling the messy love-fear-ego threesome.
1. Love never needs or wants to be right.
And hence love never has the need to tell anyone they are wrong. Love may give us new ideas or lead us in a new and improved direction, but it will never make us feel like we are wrong. This is the handiwork of ego; the guardian of our human self that only cares about keeping us safe and honoring status quo. And while I love the ego and feel it should be treated as our divine, inner child, ego is not the same as love and should not be mistaken for it.
2. Love is never complicated.
Fear is complicated. And life gets truly complicated when fear is having its way with us. Love is always simple. What love tells us is always so simple it almost feels too easy. And fear wants nothing to do with that. Fear keeps going around in circles arguing, bickering, finding reasons why life truly can’t be this simple.
3. Love never affirms our beliefs.
Love is only concerned about our growth and expansion, which always involves challenging our old, set beliefs and dogma. The ego on the other hand, loves finding situations, people and proof to affirm its own beliefs.
4. Love is never concerned about us feeling safe.
Love wants us to be loved, not safe. It often feels unsafe to love, because it always involves growth. Feeling safe is the ultimate goal of the ego, never of love.
5. Love never builds walls, fences or borders.
Love never excludes people for any reason; whether it be beliefs, supposed “wrongdoings” or any other kind of criteria whatsoever. So if someone tells you the opposite, they are not speaking or acting from love, but rather from the ego. Our ego uses separation as a way to feel safe and superior about itself.
6. Love never rushes us.
Love is always patient. So when we feel the need to rush, feel the stress of doing what is “right” or taking action now, understand that this isn’t love. Love knows there are always plenty of new paths or solutions appearing, knows we are eternal beings and knows that making decisions under pressure never leads to any good.
7. Love is never occupied with proof.
Love never cares about giving proof, because our heart never needs it—the heart simply believes. Proof just feeds our ego to make us feel safe, and ultimately right, about our own beliefs.
8. Love never focuses on the problem but always speaks of solutions.
Love always sees 100 positive solutions to any given situation that we may perceive as “negative” or even hopeless. Love builds us up. Always.
9. Love is never hopeless.
Our ego speaks of doom, hopelessness and judgment in a “reasonable” voice, giving all the right examples and proof from our past. Love is never occupied with the past, unless it wants to show us how our life has always been unfolding completely according to plan and how love always had our back. Worry, confusion and anxiety arise when we are disconnected from ourselves and love.
10. Love is never occupied by the past.
Except if it wants to show us how loved, protected and beautifully we’ve been. The ego loves re-hashing the past, twisting perspectives and bombarding us with examples of how wrong things went, how we messed up and why we should not listen to love.
11. Love never gives ultimatums.
Love is completely respects our free will and is never pushy for any reason. Love loves co-operation and co-creation. Giving ultimatums is basically manipulation, as it is pressuring someone to make a decision according to our will, and this goes against everything love is about.
12. Love is never loud.
Recall the “still voice in your heart.” Love is not pushy, repetitive or aggressive. It offers us perspective and will never pressure us or try to convince us of its own way.
13. Love never makes sense to our mind.
Love has its own reasons that the mind knows nothing about. It may seem irrational and make no sense to the mind, because our mind is ruled by our ego—the part of us that only tries to keep us safe, immobile and keeps everything as status quo. The spontaneous reaction of our human mind is often arguing with love and finding reasons why acting on love’s advice is no good.
14. Love is never occupied with perfection.
It is our fear that tells us we need to be perfect in order to be loved, seen and worthy. Love surrenders to what is. Love leans into the perfect imperfection of our humanity and 3D experience.
15. Love never invokes fear.
Love always speaks with peace, calm and complete adoration of who we already are. Our ego may have strong, fearful reactions to love because love is never overly occupied with us feeling safe. But the voice of love is always soft and respectful.
16. Love will never use negative means to reach a positive outcome.
Because to love, the end result is not the end-all. Love will never rush us, because it knows we are intrinsically perfect, and therefore basically we do not need to reach a new level, understand more or be any different thatn we are in order to be acceptable, lovable or enough.
17. Love will never encourage sacrifice.
When love asks us to give, it always involves a win-win situation, leading to us feeling happier, more fulfilled and aligned with love. Love knows that the only healthy way to give is from a cup that is spilling over.
18. Love never sees life in black and white.
Seeing the details, the nuances of another person, situation or even ourselves, is based on respect and willingness to understand. Fear leads us to think that life is black or white. And fear comes from our ego, not from love.
19. Love is never restrictive.
Love showers itself on us without any conditions. Yeah, “conditions,” all those great reasons why we should be better, purer and more sanctified. Fear holds back love because it wants what’s best for us.
20. Love never disses our darkness.
Love knows that we came to experience contrasts, to live life fully here on Earth, and allows and respects darkness just as sacred as the light. Love knows that everything is under control, trusting us and our process infinitely.
21. Love never doubts us.
Love has more faith in us than we have in ourselves. Love sees our true self, and never gets distracted by circumstances. Love knows, trusts and sees itself in us. Because love is our true essence.
22. Love will never leave you alone.
You can truly never be lost, doomed or unloved.
Author: Line Neesgaard
Image: flickr/Tae & Kay
Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock