October 20, 2016

You will always be my Moon.

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A photo posted by Renata (@theaphroditeway) on

I look up, and instantly, I’m lost in you.

There you remain—always near, but a little too far to reach.

You are the silent, mysterious, enchanting moon, and I am the rebellious wild child of a forest-fire, wandering lost through earth.

It is written in the skies that we will be magnetically bound to one another, eternally.

I hear your call, and it stirs something within me and holds me without touch; and my God, there are times that I have tried to break free, but you are impossible to resist.

I agonizingly yearn for your presence.

You are the reason I wish I could sleep through the day and lie awake basking in your melancholic light at night.

We are usually at an oblique to one another, so I impatiently wait for a rare, rhythmic, fleeting moment of alignment.

You twirl in structured cycles around me—sometimes hot, other times cold—while I feel paralyzed and move so slowly that I almost appear still, unwilling to move too far or too fast from your view.

And it pains me to know that you are slowly inching away from me.

You occasionally come close, but I blink, and like a firefly you blur and fade once more.

Your intangible presence seeps like the sweetest poison into my veins, and I freeze trapped and intoxicated by your forceful glare.

Some days you disorientate and fracture me, and my fragmented pieces long for your soothing hands. Other days you harmonize, ground and center me—and I know that as long as the invisible thread that connects us doesn’t snap, I will make it through.

I observe you move in the subtle ripples of the calm vast ocean, and I’m entranced. Curiously hoping you’ll open to me and show me your hidden, rugged dark side that seems tranquil and serene, though only because you fearfully keep it out of sight.

Can’t you see that I will be here regardless? Nothing—no one—will alter how I feel.

I admit, I often get restless, erratic and irrational. I lose control and internally rage at your foolish stubbornness, your pride and your solitude, which keeps us apart.

You unnerve me standing incandescently alone out there.

Your haunting moonbeam is only an echoed reflection of another’s rays, and yet, that potent projection chaotically pulls and pushes at my caged heart.

So I surrender, breathlessly mesmerized by your impenetrable, imperceptible unique beauty—the result of an ancient, phenomenal, destined, cosmic collision.

You are an illusion that constantly changes, but I know inside you remain the same. Thinking too much, and underestimating and doubting what we could be.

Maybe we’ve been damned and we just don’t belong, maybe your view from up there is distorted, maybe you’ve sworn your heart to another, or maybe it’s possible that we will always be too far apart to really know what this connection could be.

And although I want to torch and tear down the tired old bridge that leads to you, and run far…I stay.

Because the softness of your glow gently removes a few shades of darkness. I don’t like to admit it, but I need you there.

I honor what we share, and I rest in it, as I have searched this land, and there is no one here quite like you—and I refuse to settle.

I cling to the hope that something will erupt and shake you from the comfort of your lonely existence.

I wait and pray that one day you will gaze down and reflect on the memory of the moments we have shared, and you will whisper your regrets and tell me how you have longed for me too. You will hold out a hand, and I won’t let go.

And as your sadness floods from you, you will notice me there, loving your aching, wounded soul as I always have. Hoping someday the stars will fall into line as fated steppingstones to guide the way.

Until then, we will continue to pause in awe each time we pass one another by.

The only thing certain is that, despite the emotional chaos your intense luminous energy causes me, you return and you will forever be my moon.



Author: Alex Myles

Image: Lisbeth Cheever-Gessaman’s art, via Instagram @theaphroditeway

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina



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