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December 28, 2016

4D Living: The Key to Making the Most of our Unique Strengths & Living Well.

While it would be cool if we could each find our passion and excel, most people don’t. But each of us can, and when we do we will be over the moon delighted, laugh much more often, feel deeply free and proud too—it’s so satisfying.

I have discovered a surprisingly simple model of maximizing individual differences, which empowers us to make the most of our unique gifts, discovering the power of our committed heart and the wisdom of a clear, open, flexible head.

The root of our problems.

Often the solution to a problem is closer than our next thought: it is a sensation in our body or heart. Other times, in the midst of a crush or unexpected emotional peak or trough, a thought will provide just the perspective we need not to fall or rise too far too fast.

If you have ever had someone offer just what you needed, just when you needed it, then you understand the role head plays for heart and heart for head. It is the dance of head and heart together that leads to the most splendid experience of our time, life and ability to love.

Discovering our own special balancing act between head and heart is the key to incredible moments, peak performance in and out of the bedroom, and presence.

Unlocking our abilities isn’t complicated and it won’t take long. The different dimensions of head and heart are easy to learn and incredibly useful in bridging the gap between who we are now and what is possible for us. The people I have shown the 4D Living Model to catch on fast—and when they do their lives quickly transform for the better.

An analogy

Imagine that we have a house with four rooms. At any point we could be in one of the four rooms. In any given day we spend a certain amount of time in each room. Most of us wouldn’t spend a lot of time in the bathroom, but a vain person might.

We can look at ourselves as also having four rooms, or dimensions, that our attention may be focused on at any given moment.

Our four dimensions

The four dimensions of our self are:

1. high-head
2. low-head
3. high-heart
4. low-heart

Just like the rooms in the house, all four of these are there whether we visit them or not. Most of our problems result from focusing our attention on one of these four dimensions to the exclusion of the other three.

If our attention is focused primarily on low-head we will think a lot and won’t reach convincing conclusions. We will speak of being confused, and will think relatively slowly. We will also think the same thoughts over and over getting mired down in repetition.

If instead of low-head we focus attention on high-head we will think much more rapidly, reach firm and convincing conclusions and probably be thought of by other people as intelligent, quick, witty or even edgy. We may be wrong, but we are seldom in doubt.

Both low-head and high-head focus attention on thinking. One alternative to these is low-heart which is a focus on physical sensations, fundamental feelings perhaps expressing love and caring for a particular person, place or thing. The other heart space is high-heart which is universal, unconditional love. It results in loving everybody and everything, flowing love from head to heels without restriction and without distinctions.

No room in the house is better than another, each serves a purpose—and the same is true for our dimensions of self.

The first step

The first step of 4D Living is to discover which dimension we focus our attention on most often.

I was in Panama recently talking to a group of people. On my right was Ben. He is tall, thin with a small beard; his attention is focused consistently on low-head. As I began talking about four dimensions he was instantly confused. Other people in the group quickly noticed his focus and his inability to perceive his own low-head focus.

Just getting curious about what dimension our attention is focused on reveals our focus. If we instantly know which dimension we are focused on then it is likely that it is either high-head or high heart. If instead we become confused, then it is likely low-head, and if we feel into what we are experiencing and dwell on that, our focus is likely on low-heart.

Soon Ben got it. He did so by “accidentally” shifting his attention to high head for just a moment. His eyes lit up, his thinking became clear and he had an ah ha moment.

Across from me sat red-haired Mary. She instantly got that her attention was focused on high heart and often is. Next to her was her husband. He is quick, smart and looking for a place to inject clever humor in our conversation; his attention is focused on high-head.

These two have been married for decades and regularly experience a disconnect. She would often like a hug, while touching interrupts his ability to think.

The next morning I received an email from Mary saying that they fell asleep that night holding hands. She was thrilled, just discovering their dimensions led to greater intimacy.

The second step

It may take some practice to notice which dimension our attention is focused on. But once we get it we are free to get curious about other dimensions, opening the door to new aspects of ourselves.

While we wouldn’t restrict ourselves to one room in our home, we often limit our focus of attention to one dimension. Curiosity leads to our attention moving between dimensions: which results in clearer thinking, equal time between thinking and feeling and deep respect for the profound processes that guide us.

There are many revelations in the process of discovering different dimensions. We will feel more awake and more alert. This newfound awareness comes without judgement and quickly leads to creativity and passion—which is the natural result of attention focusing alternately on head and heart and back again.

Insight derived from myself

I have spent nearly a decade with my attention focused primarily on high-head, and I didn’t even know it!

High-head became a hiding place for me. I got so quick and clever that I thought I knew best. I trusted my thinking to the exclusion of my heart.

I was shocked when I discovered that there were other dimensions of myself. I was dumfounded when my attention focused on low-head and positively lit up with love with my focus shifting to both high and low heart.

Now my attention moves freely between all four dimensions and I have to say it makes all the difference in the world. Emotions come and go rapidly, leaving me peaceful and energized. Thoughts don’t hang around, in fact, creativity and presence conspire to keep my attention and life flowing freely.

4D living

We, as a culture, tend to reward focus of attention on head (thoughts), and give lip service to or simply ignore focus of attention on heart (feelings).

4D living offers access to all dimensions of ourselves, leading to a full spectrum experience of life: head and heart work together and we become dynamic, peaceful and playful. Problems melt away and compassion welcomes us to a new experience of head, heart and love.

Get curious about which dimension you focus on most often. Then ponder other dimensions. That is all it takes to be well on your way to knowing yourself more fully and enjoying both thoughts and feelings fully.

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Author: Jerry Stocking

Image: Courtesy of Author

Editor: Travis May

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