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December 21, 2016

How I Learned to be Vulnerable through Collaboration (& 45 Amazing Kissing Scenes).

 

It’s scary having to do everything by yourself.

But what’s even scarier, I think, is asking people for help.

I wrote a Christmas song this March (yes, we songwriters plan nine months ahead for Christmas) called “Kiss Me this Christmas,” and I decided in October to create a music video to help promote the song online. Because of its cute and playful title, I thought it would be fun to show scenes of people kissing their loved ones.

Although I had the song and an idea for the music video, I still hesitated.

I wanted this project to be a collaboration, but throughout my life, I’ve felt terrified down to my core when I’ve asked anyone for help. I don’t like to rely on other people in order to get something done. I don’t like feeling vulnerable.

Furthermore, as a type A person and songwriter, I have a hard time giving up control—control of what others contribute, control of the creative parameters I have to work with and ultimately control of the end product.

But fortunately, there was no way I could ever execute this idea without the help of others, and I had to conquer this fear in order to see my artistic vision through.

I needed people to turn in kissing videos, which I didn’t have any control over, and I only had a few weeks to get this project done.

So after several rounds of revising an off-the-cuff three sentence message, I filled in the “To:” field with the e-mails of a few of my closest friends, took a deep breath, and hit the send button with hesitation.

Right away, negative thoughts rushed through my head:

Is this a dumb idea?

Will people actually take the time to send me something?

Am I asking for too much?

But after an excruciating half hour on my mental roller coaster ride of self-doubt, I finally got my first response: “Sure, I’d love to do that. What a great idea!” And within a few more minutes I got a couple more willing participants.

So, with more grounded confidence, I quickly created a larger cattle call social media posting asking for help from people in my outer circles. And throughout that week, I received more and more yeses to the collaboration. Of course not everyone said yes, but it turns out that in general, people get excited about kissing their significant others, their kids, and their pets. People love to love, and they love to share those moments!

Videos poured in from my closest friends and family, from others I barely knew and even from people I’d never met before, but who loved my music. Contributions came in from a few miles to thousands of miles away—the East Coast to the West Coast, Cambodia to Italy, the Philippines to the U.K.

My video is the product of what happened when I confronted my vulnerability, let go of control and asked people for help.

This project hasn’t completely cured me of my fear of letting go and asking others for help, but it’s a step in the right direction.

This video came out better than I could’ve ever imagined, and of course better than what I’ve could’ve created single-handedly. I hope you enjoy this collection of 45 amazing kissing scenes of people (and pets) from all over the world.

Christmas is just around the corner, and it can be a time of intense emotional wall building for you. I know it is for me.

I hope this video inspires you to let go a little bit more, to share your vulnerability and have the courage to kiss someone you love this holiday season.

Merry Christmas and all the best to you.

~

Author: Andrew Abaria 

Image: video still

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock 

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