December 21, 2016

I Have to Let you Go, so I can Let you in. {Poem}


I loved and I lost
so many times before,
and if I come to think about it now,
I can discern the ways in which I loved
and see the reasons why I lost.

Call me crazy,
but trust me—
the way it always happened was ironic,
humorous.
I would let my lover in
truly, madly
and then,
I would lose him.

The inner struggle with myself eventually starts
and the dispute with my emotions emerges.
I’d be left with nothing,
absolutely nothing,
and have no other choice,
but
to let go.

I thought
perchance,
the trick is to start with letting go
so I can eventually
win.

Letting go is often seen as wicked,
but this time
it’s not.
My letting go is only a way
to bring you to me.

I want to let go of my expectations of you,
my dreams of you,
and the image I have of you.

I want to let go of the what ifs,
and get rid of the how abouts.
I want to let go of how things will turn out,
and what will happen
if they don’t.

I want to purify my mind,
empty my being,
only focus on the uncertainty,
and sink in the unknown nature
of our destiny.

I want to let go of every single feeling,
every single thought,
everything that might stop the flow
between us.

I want to put our story aside,
throw it like a stone into the sea,
knowing that
if it’s my destiny to catch it again,
it will return to me on the shore.

I am present still,
I am here with you still,
I am just letting you go
a little…
so I can let you in
a lot.

 

~

Author: Elyane Youssef

Image: Author’s own

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina

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