January 16, 2017

Braving Open-Hearted Love Once More.

We give way to the divine orchestration of timing—willing to risk our fractured, golden-soldered hearts laced with barbed-wire—for the sake of a lover’s ensemble.

Lost or lonely souls. Hopeless romantics. Dreamers and believers. Open-hearted warriors. Magical mystics.

All those who’d rather let their hearts break wide-open to reveal their misspent love and blinding light, than simply close off this eternal passageway and forever stray from genuine heartfelt connection—truly magnificent, unbridled love.

Logic has swayed me to and fro. Love has led me over the moon to seek out that eternal embrace. Ego has tormented my mind and left me questioning what it’s all for (“Is this infatuation? Is this love?”). All in all, I’ve fallen and faltered, swooned madly and wept terribly.

Risking the misfortune of losing the one our hearts led us toward with such blind faith and innermost conviction. That special someone, the universe guided us closer to—forcing us to step beyond our discomfort while encouraging us to speak up and express our once dormant, yet newly-awakened feelings.

I’ve cowered in silence so many times in the past.

Observing what my heart’s rhythm sang choruses to without ever revealing their intent. Fearing rejection while mulling over past mistakes and failed relationships. Adjusting to loneliness and repeating the mantra, “Just let them go.” Believing that I was incapable of deserving the love springing forth from my own cavernous wellspring. Judging all the mind-play and undermining my own sanctity.

We knew the risks and yet we dove together, into these infinite depthsanyway.

Focusing on each moment of each day, while the looming mystery of uncertainty cascaded down, around and before us. Offering solace to one another throughout each panic-stricken moment and laughing together like we were children once more.

Years have gone by since I’ve allowed myself to be so vulnerable. Entrusting one another with our fragile love, knowing and feeling with spellbound intensity the pain we’ve each endured over time. We gave it our all, despite the burgeoning mystery that so often quaked our chakras with contented serenity or crippling fear, desirous pleasure and age-old pain, egoic nightmares or the sheer will to just persevere.

Quantum love erupting from our heart-centers, voices revealing long-hidden desires and the miracle of possibilities floating about in our mind’s eye. Pure bliss, earthen haven and cosmic rays emanating throughout our core, material essence. We gave it our all, understanding that we might fall—that we could still lose these moments to fate. Succumbing—remembering that we possess no one.

Letting go of expectations of where it might all lead, while dreaming of the expansion that we might create, if we but collide someday. Trusting in time, so we might get to know one another on levels we had no idea, nor could fathom, existed within each of us. Solemnness, tears, heaven-aimed smiles and timeless cheer. Exploring the enchanted labyrinth in hopes that our own maze of life would lead us to the other—our next union, perhaps in some divine way.

I’ll never regret taking that chance with you, my dear.

We’ve fought long and hard, just to arrive here. We discovered our worthiness—that we do indeed deserve such terrifying love and that regardless of where life and the cosmos may steer our sore, tired feet and eternal souls, that someday in some life, we shall meet again.

For this, I’m thankful and regret nothing. Thank you for so delicately tearing down the barricade—the spiraling vines and suffocating tourniquets which have held me captive for so long. Forgive me, for I am unable to embark upon this journey with you, together, any longer.

Please remember me, for I will never forget you, my love.

The universal time-clock still ticks and our paths, our planets, will surely pass by one another again in this infinite framework we call life and elusive reincarnate miracle of wild, untamed spiritual dance-fare. I’ve surrendered these bittersweet and cherished moments to the eternal flame, with the wisdom of our next gathering, tempered by each love-stricken, stillness-shimmering day we were bold enough to give way to every fibrous ounce of our defiant, yet graceful-natured selves to play.

Until next time, my sweetest of hearts. May the divinity of two souls mingle once more, hands held, beneath some moon’s sway.

Author: Thayne Ulschmid
Image: Pixabay/KateCox  
Editor: Molly Murphy


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