Ever noticed how lonely healing can be?
This can be quite confusing, because we are trying to feel better—we really are—and we think we are embracing the light, but then, seemingly out of nowhere, it seems like we get more darkness.
It is often the case that when we are feeling good about our healing journey, we feel like we understand that this is part of the process—that the fluctuation in our mood, motivation and mindset is a normal, natural part of healing.
But when we feel badly, hitting a wall or having to deal with our own inner bullsh*t feels like too much, and we want it to stop. This is normal.
Here are five tips to encourage you to keep going. Keep reaching for the light, through the journey of seeing your own darkness.
1. Stop being so hard on yourself.
Overall, we are way too hard on ourselves. If you are exploring meditation or other healing modalities, and setting an intention for healing, then we know there is love in your heart.
We know your intentions are not malicious, and anything that feels like a mistake is just that—an innocent, neurotic accident. Let the ups and downs of the journey just be, without judgement. This is the biggest gift you can give yourself.
2. Keep being curious about your challenges.
Maybe our challenges are just the normal suffering of the human journey—but maybe they are also something more. Maybe every challenge is an opportunity.
What if, at our core, all we are is light—and our journey is to clear the darkness? Our journey needs challenges, so we can learn how to align with the greater good.
I don’t like the phrase “everything happens for a reason”—or even the concept that there are lessons to learn. I think this can feel too cruel when there is so much loss and disappointment in our lives. However, each moment is an opportunity to choose how we react—especially how we treat ourselves.
3. Don’t struggle alone—use the support you have.
If you have hit a difficult part of your personal healing journey—something that feels so resistant to heal that you don’t want to deal with it—this is a sign you have done a great job. (Even if it doesn’t feel great.) This means you have touched on a core issue (or pattern) that is extremely stuck or painful, and hence, you now have an opportunity to really do some powerful healing.
Not pushing ourselves from a place of blame or shame when we are struggling is imperative. Simply encouraging yourself to keep being kind to yourself, and drawing on all the healing skills, support and healer friends you have accumulated, is your biggest support.
4. Seeing the avoidance.
Yes, we all avoid these tight, painful places—we watch TV, eat, get busy, sleep, smoke pot—and this is fine. Don’t be too hard on yourself about it.
When we are cruel to ourselves in the face of our struggle, we are not healing; we are just traumatizing ourselves further. Keeping a sense of humor, acknowledging our avoidance tendency and committing to be kind to ourselves no matter what choices we make, is incredibly powerful.
Instead of judging our tendency to avoid, we can keep opening ourselves up to infinite possibility. Even within the avoidance, this will bring a gentle, transformational shift to the healing process.
5. Do a guided meditation.
>> Close your eyes and just feel your shoulders and upper back. Suggest to them to drop down, and let the stress flow out of the upper part of your body and down deep into the earth.
>> Now, say hello to your breath. Just feel it, see it, notice it, experience it.
>> Next turn your attention to your heart. Does it feel small or expansive? Give it some attention, some love. What happens now?
>> When you are ready, come back to the breath. Deepen your breaths, and slow them down. Let this state of relaxation integrate with your entire mind, body and spirit.
>> Open your eyes when you are ready.
To sum up: You are doing a great job, and I am incredibly proud and impressed with your courageous healing intentions.
In the thick of healing, there is no need to push or punish ourselves or feel like we are doing a bad job. Instead, we can see our personal and collective challenges as a culmination of all our healing intentions.
We can stay gentle, and be kind to ourselves and others, even in the midst of struggle and challenge. And if you aren’t experiencing challenges presently, but are finding enjoyment in life, savor it.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying life; it doesn’t mean that we aren’t going deep enough.
Enjoying life in this moment and feeling like we are struggling both reflect that this human incarnation is precious, and every moment is full of opportunity, whether it feels like it or not.
Keep going. You’re doing great.
Author: Ruth Lera
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina