4.1
March 23, 2017

To the Love that was Never Forever—Thank You.

I didn’t expect to meet you.

I didn’t mean to fall in love with you.

It wasn’t part of my life plan.

Yet, there you were, out of nowhere—changing everything, cracking open my heart, showing me how to love.

You broke through my soul, awakened the sleeping lioness within me, and promised me the world.

I should be furious with you for loving me so thoroughly and ruining me so beautifully with every thought and word and touch—until I desired a forever I had long abandoned.

But, the kindness and love in your eyes reminded me that when you promised never to leave me, to always love me, and to remember me forever, you meant every single word in each moment.

Even though I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you, I let you in.

I understood from the beginning that you were not my forever love. You were my right now—my every moment.

And you cracked open those dark slivers of my heart and helped me peer into the mirror of my soul, uncovering the parts of myself that needed to be examined, learning how to embrace the beauty that I had overlooked.

I found myself in your eyes.

You were my peace, and my chaos; my stormy lover, and my calm shores.

The holes in my soul were filled for a time by your white-hot passion for me and our timeless, colliding touch.

But with that love came intense pain, for I longed for our fantasy to become reality—I wanted a real life with you that you would not give. I had no right to want this future, but my heart longed for all that and more.

And so I broke.

The pain overwhelmed and threatened to take control of me. But then I began to breathe, as you taught me. And I awoke to parts of myself that I had not known before.

I remembered.

I stood.

I started over.

And I saw you with the eyes of a woman who has been resurrected. My craving desire colliding with a gratitude that filled my soul—gratitude for you, for your life.

For you were my teacher. You showed me how to create a new life from my scars.

You held me while I cried, and then you let me go, so I could learn to hold myself.

You showed me how to recognize strength in pain. You showed me that I could put the pieces of my life together the way that I choose. That I should bleed the pain, the fear, the love, and the joy onto the page.

Thank you for the laughter and the lessons. Thank you for every moment—the evidence of your love.

You have been more to me than just words on the pages of my life. You have been an imprint on my soul.

You were my lover, my friend, a part of my becoming, and a pivotal point in my journey.

And the most important lesson I have learned from you is that the most amazing things in life do not come as planned. They arrive when we least expect them and awaken us to a new way of being.

For real love—whether it is experienced for a moment or a lifetime—helps us uncover who we truly are.

~

Author: Stephanie Parry

Image: Romeo & Juliet movie still

Editor: Khara-Jade Warren

Read 2 Comments and Reply