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April 22, 2017

Today I was Stood Up—& I’m so Happy I Was.

Today I was stood up. And here’s the thing—it didn’t feel great.

I waited and told myself we must have got our times mixed up.

I waited and chastised myself for gaining weight in the last year.

I waited and checked my phone signal (just in case).

I waited and questioned my outfit choice.

I waited and told myself I wasn’t good enough.

I waited and asked myself for the thousandth time what was wrong with me.

I waited for 60 minutes, and in that time, I entertained doubtful, destructive thoughts about myself—thoughts that didn’t serve any purpose beyond hurting my own heart. I sat with those feelings far longer than I should have, driving these beliefs into my soul until I took them for gospel.

I started to question how it was possible that a single person could have that kind of seismic effect on me. What gave someone the right the make me feel anything but good about myself?

I began to ponder all the times in my life I let people change the way I felt about myself. I reflected on the damage this must have caused my soul and how many other people felt they were less-than-worthy based on someone else’s fabricated beliefs.

And just like that, I took my control back. Because perspective changes everything.

I removed myself from the picture and could see more clearly.

I could see how great my smile is and what a fantastic sense of humor I have.

I could see the sense of adventure and spark of determination living in my eyes.

I could see my heart, worn boldly on my sleeve.

I could see myself wholly, no longer looking through the vicious lens of judgment.

Instead, I looked at myself through the lens of love.

Here’s the truth: we are all worthy of love.

We are all worthy of respect.

We are all worthy of being understood.

We are all worthy of embracing our flaws and loving each other even more for them.

We are all made of infinite, unconditional love.

That morning I spent reflecting on my couch provided me a valuable lesson that would come to serve as a positive reminder for the rest of my life. A reminder to be kind, to be loving, and to be accepting of who I am and everything I have to offer the world.

Because guess what?

He called.

I wallowed in my own false unworthiness when he’d simply slept through an alarm. My worthiness should not be measured against anything other than my own idea about who I am and who I want to be, the fact that he called ended up serving as my great “aha” moment.

Society tells us it matters what men think, it matters what our girlfriends think, what our colleagues think, and what the media thinks of us—even what the checkout chick at the local grocery store thinks. It doesn’t.

What matters most is how you think of yourself.

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Author: Skye Hughes
Image: Agnieszka P / Unsplash
Editor: Danielle Beutell

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Skye Hughes