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May 22, 2017

Today I will Not Feel Guilty.

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The world of social media is full of helpful information that works to feed the nagging voice of guilt in my ear about all the things I am not doing, which is ultimately contributing to my demise.

I love motivational posts that talk to the ideas about greater productivity, mindfulness, and creating a successful life—reading them and mentally committing to incorporating these ideas into my day, all 262 recommendations…or so.

I enjoy reading about nutrition and the benefits I can reap with green juices, super healthy, home-made granola snacks, and the inspiration of meal planning and prepping for the week on a Sunday.

I feel inspired by looking at images of athletic people engaging in amazing, body nourishing exercises, and their perfectly fitting sports bras and running pants.

I feel motivated to recreate a salon perfect hairstyle and experiment in trending make up techniques to present a polished version of my messy self.

I feel encouraged to decorate my home into the perfect space that is in equal parts homey, stylish, and spectacularly unique, all the while looking like minimal effort was required to execute.

I relish reading tips on parenthood and this picture perfect idea of how to create it.

I feel excited at progressing my career in a challenging and dynamic way, and even dressing the part.

I love feeling inspired and motivated to be the best version of myself…but today I feel tired after some long, productive days at work and at home.

I feel deflated by the cold and wet weather that has blanketed Melbourne, stealing away the warmth and sunshine.

I don’t feel glamorous, dynamic, or particularly articulate.

Today, I am not excusing my lack of motivation on deemed insufficiency of time, and, quite frankly, I have no idea how to categorise the slump and I don’t intend to try.

Today, I accept it is one day amongst the many of my world where I will allow the flow of the universe, inclusive of the great, the inspiring, and the challenging, and I will feel it and hope that tomorrow I wake inspired.

But today I will not feel guilty…

That my hair isn’t styled (it is clean though!);
That there were dishes left in my sink;
That I don’t have a super healthy meal plan drafted and executed for breakfast, lunch, and dinner;
That I am likely to eat chocolate to comfort my lack of motivation and that will probably be for breakfast;
That I am unlikely to get any recommended exercise done today and will actively work to avoid it;
That I didn’t bounce out of bed at five a.m. to meditate;
That I write but still have a conventional job that requires an attendance between nine a.m. and five p.m.;
That I am not inspired or loving life or feeling so grateful for the air that fills my lungs.

I will not feel guilty that today I am not the best version of myself because this is my reality and this is my truth.

But, tomorrow is another day.
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Author: Fiona Pace
Image: Bethany Newman/Unsplash 
Editor: Taia Butler

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