Walking away from my marriage was one of the most difficult and bravest things I’ve ever done.

It was hard to know the “right” time to leave, if there ever is one. It was harder to figure out what I wanted my life to be when I had been so terribly wrong the first time round.

When a relationship ends it is easy to fall into bad habits and lose sight of who we are. The best thing we can do is find ways to pick ourselves up and remind ourselves that usually, we are better off.

Finding yourself after any sort of big life change is an intricate balance of learning to let go of the things that aren’t good enough, and filling your life with the things that are.

The following is one in a series of poems that illustrates the brokenness as well as strength and resilience that comes through taking control and taking one’s life back.

Wordless

You were mad I never wrote much about you,

But you know , I have notebooks and pages full
Of carefully crafted phrases
That sum up your inability and unwillingness to love me
And my desperate desire to prove to you I’m worthy.

You
Were supposed to be the great love of my life,
And I spilled little ink in the wake of our demise.

You
Say it is because I didn’t care
And I never did.

I say
I held on for so long
By the time I was able to look you in the face
And tell you
I didn’t love you anymore
There was nothing left to say.

I didn’t have profound words
That would heal the gash I sliced into your heart
No beautiful lines to use as bandages
Or thread to stitch up the brokenness I inflicted.

All I could do was pack up my things
And go.

~

Author: Michelle Carpenter
Image: Zoe Biggs/Flickr
Editor: Lieselle Davidson