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June 3, 2017

If They Really Were The One—They Wouldn’t Have Gotten Away.

“Sometimes we just have to have faith that the love meant for us will never leave us.” ~Unknown

It seems romantic to discuss ideals of the one that got away, but the reality is if someone was the one—they would still be here.

We love for different reasons, and perhaps for seasons as well, but there is nothing that stings worse than wondering if the one that got away was meant to stay. It seems we agonize over it while sugar-coating something that, from the very beginning, was destined to end.

But the simple truth is, those people that are meant to stay in your life won’t ever leave.

It really is that simple. I promise.

It doesn’t matter if we look at it through the lens of soulmates, twin flames, or any other type of esoteric love concept—even if they drift to the edges of our lives, they never really are gone. I know that it seems impossible to live without someone, but in the same sense you shouldn’t ever have to beg anyone to stay.

Love will never be begged for, and “the one” won’t need you to plead in order to stay.

These gifts are always given freely and beautifully, from our heart to another person, not because we have to, but because we are meant to. If love isn’t knocking at your door, it’s because it’s not love—and while it’s hard to let go, holding onto the wrong one hurts even worse.

Perhaps some go through this life believing in “the right one” and “the wrong one,” sometimes it seems to be our excuse as to why we limit or indulge our romantic choices. We think that sets up a safety net of expected behavior and experiences. So if we are telling ourselves that our one got away, the truth is we are just setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Not just because we expect this one to someday come back riding a white horse and saving the day, but also because it’s teaching ourselves that unconditional, real love leaves and lets us down, which is counterproductive to the belief itself.

We all have our person that was created specifically for us, but the messy truth is that we can’t be separated from them, no matter what we do. We can’t mess it up, nor can we even push it away.

When it’s real, and it’s with our person, then no matter what we might do, or how many times we may unconsciously fall apart, we are never really gone. That’s what love is; that’s what “the one” feels like. If they leave, if they move on and they aren’t there to cushion your heart and hold your hand, then you have believe that it’s because as much as you wanted them to be your one—they aren’t.

Instead, be grateful for the experiences and the way that your heart beats just a little bit stronger now. Take pride in how much you loved and how you let the experience make you grow, but never for one minute think that this is the one that got away.

I promise that someday, someone is going to show you what love really is.

They won’t come packaged as you hoped, and there still might be difficulties that challenge one another, but there will be a real authenticity that you can taste all the way down to your toes, and it will leave you knowing that without a shadow of a doubt that you are loved.

It’s been said that when we are loved well, we become more of who we are—not less.

This is what this kind of love does to you, it mingles in faith with a breath of hope—and somewhere along the way, jasmine begins to grow and bloom within the darkness of the midnight hours. We’re awakened to the promises that aren’t only mentioned but also tasted, and those people that show us what love really means

I know that it’s alluring to keep hoping, even when you are all alone and questioning why—but it’s not those thoughts that will bring love to your doorstep.

The one that is meant to stay won’t ever go away.

Perhaps we just fool ourselves into thinking this is love—that maybe people just need to have love and lost before we really know what love is. Yet, we don’t really want someone to have to lose us in order to appreciate all that we are.

People take different journeys, and we can’t control where someone else’s is supposed to lead—but ultimately, if they are trying to walk away from you, then the only choice we have is to let them go.

Not just for a day, but permanently.

Holding peace in your heart and knowing that what is truly meant for any of us can’t be missed. Yes, perhaps sometimes we take the long way at times, and there really are lessons that we need to learn in order to be ready for love. No one can say that the road to unconditional love is always an easy one or that it won’t be paved in its own challenges or heartbreak, but I suppose the biggest difference is the intent behind it all.

Are we learning to love, or are we learning to leave?

Maybe in a perfect world, they might not be exclusive of one another, but within a day time can change, and it seems that so can weWe do depart from someone that we care about at times, but sometimes, it’s done simply so that we can actually learn how to love them. Yet at other times we leave sometimes once or more, simply because we are learning how to leave them.

Love is gamble, a risk, and the most beautiful accident that any of us could ever stumble upon.

But the one thing to remember is the love that is meant for you won’t ever leave, no matter how difficult it is to stay.

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Author: Kate Rose
Image: Toa Heftiba/Unsplash
Editor: Danielle Beutell

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