I have a series of failed relationships in my past.
Most of the heartbreaks were my own doing, as I took my emotional health for granted. Whenever a relationship felt hot and heavy, I’d say, “What’s the worst that could happen?” and jump right into it, often disregarding my intuition and the obvious red flags.
Well, let’s just say that the worst that could happen usually happened.
Last year, I started taking the red flags to heart and listening to my intuition. In other words, I stopped kidding myself. I stopped pursuing the relationships I felt weren’t going to work out. Instead of foolishly asking what could go wrong, I started to foresee the worst and then choose not to be a part of it.
The only relationship I’d consider entering right now is one that feels right. I’ve learned the hard way that silencing our intuition or ignoring red flags always puts us (and the other person) in a bad situation.
If we’re serious about wanting to prevent a broken heart, we must learn how to act in accordance with our guts.
And believe me, I know that heartbreaks are prone to happen. We mustn’t forget the causes and conditions in life that we can’t keep at bay. Sometimes, we enter relationships that feel right in the beginning, but eventually end.
Nonetheless, there are those we meet who seem to be holding a fat-a** sign that reads “Wrong Person,” and yet, we choose to proceed.
The wrong person isn’t a bad person. But that doesn’t mean they’re good for us. We might not be that into them, but we enter into a relationship because we enjoy the attention and love they give us. Or, they might have commitment issues, but we choose to move forward because we think we can fix them. There are many different scenarios that lead to the wrong person, but with most of these, our intuition comes along at some point and yells at us to “stay the f*ck away.”
It’s difficult to pin down intuition, but we usually just know. If we’re with the wrong person, we may feel confused, lost, or emotionally drained. It’s less about the thoughts in our mind, and more about the energy in our gut that washes over us when we’re around a certain someone. Having said that, when the situation and the person are right, we’ll undoubtedly feel that too.
Asking ourselves if we’re following our intuition is valuable. Perhaps, if we follow our gut and take to heart the red flags, we can save ourselves and others from unnecessary heartbreak.
We need to understand that relationships involve two people, and when we enter into one with the wrong person, we risk the emotional health of both participants. We need to realize that taking our emotions, or the emotions of another, for granted just for the sake of physical or emotional pleasure will never lead to a successful relationship.
The truth is, choosing a partner goes beyond pleasure. It’s not about filling an empty space in our lives or fixing someone else. Choosing the right partner starts with tuning in to what every cell in our body is saying.
If we allow our intuition to guide us when choosing a relationship, we may find ourselves facing a different outcome than usual—and hopefully, minus the heartbreak.
Author: Elyane Youssef
Editor: Nicole Cameron
Copy Editor: Travis May
Social Editor: Catherine Monkman