Since I was a young girl, I’ve experienced a deep connection to myself.
This lended itself to an inner awareness of my thoughts and feelings, as well as a keen awareness of the things, people, and experiences I wanted to draw into my life.
All of my experiences (whether good or bad) were heightened by my emotional sensitivity. My goals were met with extreme focus, self-discipline, and determination. Though, as a child, these behaviors were primarily unconscious and unnamed to me, I realize now that I was always deeply stirred by my passions and desires.
Through clear intentions, coupled with commitment and hard work, I did achieve my desires. This taught me that whatever I put my mind, heart, and attention toward, could be created and achieved.
It wasn’t until adulthood that I realized how my inner knowing and passionate stirrings were actually the connection I had to my intuitive self—my unconscious instincts. The part of me that knows everything and attracts my deepest desires. I see intuition as an internal compass that guides us through life according to our reservoir of unconscious thoughts, feelings, desires, and ideologies. The deeper our connection to our intuition, the more confident we may feel about our life choices and direction.
I began to really deepen my spiritual journey several years back, and it was then that I discovered that using our intuition makes us into powerful manifestors.
From manifesting my undergraduate and graduate schools (years prior to attending), to living on specific streets of New York City, to learning Italian and living abroad in Italy, to living by the seaside on an island—I have manifested countless dreams that were once a mere flash in my mind.
One of my funniest manifestations occurred about 12 years ago when I came face to face with one of my teenage Hollywood crushes—Robert De Niro. As a teen, I dreamed and affirmed that one day I’d meet the famed actor. Though it took nearly 20 years to happen, when he walked off the elevator into a penthouse apartment I represented in New York City real estate, my dream manifested.
I never said timing was guaranteed in manifesting my intentions.
Many of our desires can shift and manifest quickly into our lives. But what happens when it seems that no matter how much we visualize, meditate, affirm, and attempt to speak our desires into existence—our desires remain delayed, elusive, or feel like they’re never going to happen?
It happens sometimes. I don’t know about you, but when that happens to me, I often get extremely frustrated, angry, and want to change or give up on my desires all together. Does that ever happen to you?
Instead of giving up when my dreams appear delayed or impossible (which can never be an option), I’ve now learned to step back and go to the root of my desires. To reflect and reevaluate them. I look to see which of my thoughts, habits, or behavioral patterns might be keeping my desires away from me. I am constantly turning the mirror inward to examine any of my own internal blocks toward manifestation.
By using the 10 conditions below, we can reassess our goals and intentions and determine whether we need to jump ship, re-strategize and work harder, or simply be patient.
Here are the main nine things that block our manifestation.
1. Attachment to the outcome.
This is one of the most common interferences to manifestation. Desperation never hooks the fish. Whenever we cling too tightly to anyone or anything, we actually keep it from us. We push it farther away, because what lies at our core is our own fear that we’ll never have this thing or that we won’t be happy without it.
When we are too strongly attached to the outcome, we place our happiness outside of ourselves and place limitations on the universe. What if the universe actually had something even better for us than what we were asking for?
Exercising non-attachment demonstrates our trust and faith in a greater plan, maintaining our peace and harmony. Manifestation occurs when we fall back, relax, settle in what is, trust, and open ourselves to receiving. There is a softness we hold in our hearts to allow miracles into our lives. One of my greatest dreams of living by the seaside came true for me, literally the moment I stopped asking the universe for it.
Soften your grip, continue with your life, and try to find happiness without desire.
2. Whose desires are they anyway?
This is an important question to ask ourselves as we set out to manifest our desires. Take some time to really pause and sit with them. Notice if they are actually our own dreams or the dreams of our parents, our family, our society, our culture, our church, or religion.
Has society or our parents embedded a picture in our mind that we’ll only be super happy or successful if we have this one thing? Be sure our desires are what we really want. Our dreams belong to us and only us, and they do not have to make sense to anyone else but us.
We have to spend time in meditation listening and learning ourselves. Learning to decipher between our voice and the voices of others. As we spend more time getting to know ourselves, we will strengthen our intuition. Then we’ll know what’s truly coming from our own heart.
3. Our intentions are unclear.
Oftentimes, we may hope to manifest our desires, but aren’t even sure or clear about what they are. The universe can’t deliver an unspecified request. Being specific with our orders lets the universe know exactly what it is that we want. Visualize it as clearly as we can and hold onto that vision. If we can hold it in our head, then we can materialize it in our life.
Write your dreams down on paper. Describe them. What does your dream look like? Who’s in the dream? What are you wearing? What does your dream feel like coming true for you? Meditate on your vision daily and be sure your affirmations align exactly with what you want.
4. Your desires are driven by your ego.
The universe doesn’t deliver on wishes of the ego. It fulfills promises of the heart. We have to recognize if our desires are ego driven. Are we looking to get a new car so we can impress an ex? Or do we want to have a family so that we can fit in with our friends or the other members of our family? Is the new job and promotion prompted by our desire to show off new monetary gain and success? Are our desires motivated so we can get followers on Instagram or Facebook?
The ego thrives on a constant state a fear—fear of not being good enough, not having enough, or being alone—so it feeds off of greed, competition, and an insatiable appetite for more. It’s easy, and maybe even natural for us, to compare ourselves to others. But we have the ability to put our egos in check and engage more with our hearts.
Take time to understand your desires. How would they deeply fulfill you, make you better, expand your heart to greater love, and help you to serve and love others more?
5. You’re holding onto anger or resentment.
Ouch! This is a big one and may sting for some of us. But if we’re holding onto anger and resentment toward ourselves or others, manifesting our desires can be an extremely challenging feat. In order to manifest our heart’s desires, our heart needs to be open and supple. Anger and resentment harden and block the heart and often keep our miracles away.
Do the work to release anger from the mind and body. Consider writing a letter of forgiveness to yourself or to the person that has hurt you, without necessarily sending it. Meditate on bringing a light of love and compassion into the heart. Practice loving-kindness meditation and forgive yourself daily. Forgiveness is a lifelong journey and happens in layers. So focus on doing it little by little. If you truly want to create greater things in your life, try making space for it by letting go of anger.
6. Negative beliefs and fear.
If our fear of a thing is greater than the thing itself, we may experience trouble manifesting our desires. The universe responds to the energies we actually put out. So, if it picks up on fear that is greater than our desire to receive, the universe will respond to our fear and manifestation may be difficult. Furthermore, if we don’t believe from deep within ourselves that we deserve our desire, that too will impede it from coming to us. We don’t attract in life what we want, we attract what we believe we deserve.
If we struggle with self-worth, fear, and anxiety, the panacea for them all is self-love. Cultivate self-love practices through meditation, mindfulness, journaling, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, and a daily gratitude practice. Try each day to release the inner critic and judge. Let go of condemning, judging, sabotaging, and punishing yourself. Practice self-compassion by noticing and embracing your inner thoughts and feelings.
7. Your attention and focus has wavered.
Manifestation requires consistent work and commitment. We must remain focused on what we desire and do our part—saying “yes” to things that will bring us closer to what we want and “no” to things that will hinder or deter us from it. Stay the course. If we know it’s what we want in our heart, we don’t give up. We keep doing the work that is within our power and control to do, and do so with mindful grace and ease.
8. You haven’t fully let go and trusted your ability to manifest.
So I know this is probably one of the hardest causes to blocking our manifestations. But, if we truly desire something from deep within our hearts, and truly believe in our ability to create it, then we cannot worry, fret, or fear that our desire won’t come to us. When we trust fully in our ability to manifest, we relinquish our obsession of fear and self-doubt. We must know that our dream is coming to us. And if not that dream, know that something different and better is coming along.
Consider it this way: our internal compass already has our life’s plan mapped out. If things aren’t happening for us, sometimes it’s because they’re not supposed to. If we can trust that the universe will only give us what is meant for our soul’s purpose and will never keep anything away from us that is specifically designed for our growth, then we can relax and wait for our manifestations to reveal themselves.
This is hard truth to swallow. Trust me, I’ve had to swallow that same pill in different areas of my life. However, I can also say that whenever I truly hand over my dreams to the universe, releasing my own control of the outcome, and fully trusting my dream to show up, the manifestation either comes to me that much faster—or the universe fills my cup in other ways. Either way, I am fulfilled, happy, and not missing out on anything.
9. Your time simply hasn’t come yet.
Oh, time. If only we could hold onto and control it, life would be so much simpler. In truth, as much as we may want control over time, having it would prevent us from growing. It would preclude us from learning patience and delayed gratification. Trusting in time is necessary for our evolution. Time only has the limits we place on it.
Perhaps our manifestation hasn’t shown up simply because it’s not the right time for it. Sometimes we think we know what’s better for us than the universe does—that if we had our desires then we’d be the happiest. But, maybe there’s a delay in our dream because we’re not quite as prepared or as ready for it as we might think we are. Therefore, the universe offers us time and different experiences in order to equip us with the tools we’ll need for our new manifestation.
In truly trusting the universe, we will trust in its time. Just as Eckhart Tolle writes in A New Earth, “How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.”
Author: Angela N. Holton
Image: Danielle Marroquin/Unsplash
Editor: Danielle Beutell
Copy editor: Yoli Ramazzina
Social editor: Khara-Jade Warren