Caring about other people’s opinions might be one of the most dangerous attitudes out there.
When we need an outside source to validate that who we are is “okay,” we will always be chasing a source of assurance that is impossible to find.
This can be so difficult.
The wanting of approval—no, the needing of approval—from others can really drive us.
Years ago, I was in Vancouver attending a talk by a spiritual teacher whose name I don’t remember, when she said something that blew my neural functioning.
She said, “Not everyone is going to like you.”
When I heard those words I felt my heart trying to leap out of my chest. Every cell in my body yelled, “Nooooooo!”
“But how will I survive if people don’t like me?” was my instinctual response. At the time, the idea of people not liking me clearly freaked me out.
Now, I know the answer to this question is just fine. I survive better than I ever have not caring if others like me or not.
We really start to live fully when we stop caring so much about if others get us, don’t like us, or agree with us. Actually, when we stop caring if other people get us, we move beyond surviving, and start to enter “thriving.”
Nobody else knows what we need. And, one of our main soul challenges is to stand in our authentic truth, even when others disagree.
Did you get that?
We are not meant to wait until everyone believes in us, supports us, or gets us to move forward on our true path. We just have to move forward—no matter what! Usually, despite other people. And often, despite the people we love the most really getting what we are doing, or why.
Our life path is incredibly mysterious. We don’t really know why we are here on earth, and we don’t know exactly what we are meant to do—but no one else knows this for us either.
What is so great about ceasing to care about other people’s opinions about who we are, is that we free ourselves. When we need to wait for the approval of others, it is like being in jail. We need to hold ourselves back until we are sure it will be safe to present ourselves to others.
When we don’t have to wait for the approval of others, when we have the inner strength to be criticized and understand that this is the other person’s opinion and not a true reflection of who we are, then we can act, and be, and play, and do, and go for it—any time we want!
Your life purpose is not to please others, gain approval, or feel like other people get you.
Your life purpose is to find out what is true and authentic to you, and just do it, even if others don’t understand. All those well-known people whose work you love had to walk this path, and you are no different.
There is no way to live and have everyone like you—therefore, you need just one person to like who you are—and that is you.
Author: Ruth Lera
Image: Mean Girls/YouTube
Editor: Lieselle Davidson
Copy Editor: Leah Sugerman
Social Editor: Sara Karpanen